× Family & Parenting

name change

12 years 2 months ago #45832 by babywonder
wow, have kinda disappeared for a while, i guess :) oh well.
i have been contemplating for several months about changing my name to my husband's name. does anyone know how long it takes to do? also, i was originally thinking to do it after graduation, but someone mentioned that it is a hassle to show legally that you (w/new name) are the same person as the one on the medical diploma. is this true?
i really like the tradition of a woman changing her name, but am still reluctant to change mine; i keep going back and forth. i definately do not want to hyphenate, as that would be way too long! i think part of the issue is that i feel as if i would hurt my parent's feelings if i did this, which is strange b/c my mother changed her name, and we've all talked about it and it did not seem like a big deal. i know by now i should act more independently and not worry so much about what my parents think, but i can't help it. i'm sure i'm not the only one who's thought endlessly about this...

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12 years 2 months ago #45833 by SAHMdoc
I have heard that it can be a hassle if you change your name after graduation from medical school. It's not the end of the world or anything, but it is just another little hoop to jump through each time you apply to take boards or for your state license or whatever. If you know for sure you will want to change your name, I would do it before you graduate, just to avoid that additional minor hurdle for the rest of your career.
To be honest, I almost changed mine the week before graduation. My husband has a very simple, easy-to-spell American name. My maiden name, on the other hand, is foreign, very difficult to spell and pronounce. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So...we've been married for 11 years and I still have my maiden name.
I guess, to me, it's just a part of who I am. My father was a working-class first-generation immigrant to this country and he never really did make it in life. Somehow, I feel that, by keeping his name alive, I'm able to honor his memory in a way that wouldn't be possible otherwise. Of course, I thought I would be practicing medicine by now and honoring his name by appending the title "Dr." to it. As it turns out, I'm now a full-time SAHM but that's another story altogether.
If you're not sure, take your time and wait. I wouldn't worry about what your parents think. What do YOU want to do? What does your husband think? Some guys feel strongly about it. Mine didn't think it was a big deal either way, but if he had felt really strongly about it, I might have changed it for his sake.

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12 years 2 months ago #45834 by aurora
I wouldn't worry about how your parents feel. I doubt they care. If you really want to, take it as a middle name or a second middle name.

It doesn't take terribly long. First go to Social Security with your marriage certificate and ID. Fill out a form, get a receipt that shows your name has been changed. You'll get a card in a few weeks. I hope this link works: ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/ssa.cfg/php..._adp.php?p_faqid=315

Take the receipt or the new card to the DMV and get a new drivers license. Again, you'll receive a receipt or temporary license to prove you are Mrs. Blank.

Then go to your bank, show them the info (bring the marriage cert, too, just in case) and they will switch everything over. Try to call places that have your credit card info that charge things automatically (like the gym) to give them the new info. You'll change everything over eventually. It takes time. Most places don't require seeing any sort of ID. Just call them up or let them know.

School should be easy. I don't know about medical school, but for my undergrad I just went to the admissions office and showed them my old ID and my new driver's license. I got a new ID immediately.

It's really not that bad. If you want to spend the money, you can buy the "Name Change Kit" which has all of the info and forms in one place, but unless you have forty credit cards, you should be fine with the above steps. :)

"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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12 years 2 months ago #45835 by MomtoRyan
It's been awhile since I did it and it seems like the longest part was waiting for my new social security card. It is possible to change some things without it with a copy of your marriage license (or with nothing at all as proof for some credit accounts).

I'm not sure about how it would affect your diploma, but I recently had to complete a name change affidavit at the University where I got my undergrad. I enrolled in a couple of classes and they told me that they are required to maintain my records in my current legal name. It was basically a form where I filled in my old name, SSN and new name. I also had to send them a copy of my marriage license (they specified that a drivers license was not enough). So, now if I need to send a transcript, etc it will have my current name and my former name on it.

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12 years 2 months ago #45836 by doctortobe
I don't know the answer to your question, but I just wanted to share what I did. I didn't want to have a hyphenated name either. I didn't want to keep my maiden name; I WANTED to have the same name as my husband and future kids. But, I was also sad to let my maiden name go.
So, I made my maiden name a second middle name. I just love it now.
My name is now Deborah Marie Maiden Married. I usually write it with just my middle initials - Deborah MM Married (except it's not 2 "M's" in real life).
It worked perfect for me.

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12 years 2 months ago #45837 by babywonder
thanks you girls so much for your replies; like some of you, i also really do want to change my name, and like SAHMdoc, my maiden name is long and always pronounced incorrectly, while his is short (three short letters :, also foreign and not pronounced right, but if both are to be said wrong, i'll take three over like 10 letters, thank you!) so, basically, i really like the middle name thing; i did not know you could do that, so thanks for the idea...so, basically your last name would be your married name but your middle name would be your maiden name? the name change people don't care that it's a last name and not really a middle name? probably a silly question. anyways, i never thought of that, and it's really quite a cool idea. either way, i'll still think about it a bit. oh, and my husband doesn't push me for it, but he has said a few times that he likes the idea of me taking his name...me too:)
anyways, thanks again for the great ideas and the whole walkthrough on how to go about doing it.

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