× Family & Parenting

Nanny/AuPair 101

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13 years 1 month ago #47037 by DixieGirl05
I have a question for all of you have have used or currently use a nanny. To give you some information about my situation, I am 22 years old with a college degree, and 3 years previous nannying experience. I am married and am currently a live out nanny for two children, ages 6 and 8. I work between 40 and 55 hours a week. Aside from the usual nanny responsibilities I also am responsible for homeschooling both children. I do all lesson planning and educating of both children. My question is about my salary. I make $380/week and I feel this is unfair. In my previous jobs, I was paid hourly, and never made less than $10/hr, yet I never had the responsibilities I have in this job.
Do you think it is unreasonable for me to ask for a raise and what would you say is a fair salary? Thank you for taking the time to read this!

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13 years 6 days ago #47038 by TexasRose
I have a question for those with Nannies/APs. How do you handle it when your Nanny tells you she's having a problem with the kids and brings up the fact that she can leave your family if it doesn't work out?

The problem is, she's very very quiet and my kids have been very very loud lately. They're not listening well to her and my daughter has been yelling at her brothers an awful lot lately. I understand the APs concerns and wish to have a more peaceful interaction with the kids, but I also feel a little threatened by the reminder that she can just up and leave me stranded. :(

I've had several conversations with my kids (school age) and I think we can work this out pretty easily. It helps that my husband's recent travel is now finished and my last final exam is in a week. It's just that this conversation makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable when it comes to our childcare. I've had such a tough time finding good childcare and this young woman is wonderful. I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to feel threatened abou it either!

In her defense, she put it in a very positive way "I love your family and you all are so good to me, I just can't imagine staying here another 9 months with this situation with the kids." She did NOT say "change things or I'll leave."

Any thoughts?

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

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13 years 5 days ago #47039 by AnnaM
Get the noise level down. Lots of one-on-one with Mom and dad now that travel/finals are over, and use the 1-2-3 Magic method of discipline. The noise level in our house decreased TREMENDOUSLY when we started using it. Until your kids are old enough to fend for themselves, you're at the mercy of the nanny, so whatever Nanny wants (within reason) Nanny gets.

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12 years 11 months ago #47040 by ams
Unfortunately, I think that's it. We are at the mercy of the au pair, essentially, because we don't want to put ourselves and our children through another change without any guarantee the next one will work. I am having a situation with my mexican au pair who keeps asking me to pay her more money. For example, yesterday her hours were 7-6. Tonight I'm on call and my husband has a work xmas party, so he'll be late. I am aware she is working outside of the 10 hour a day rule, but overall for the week she is still working less than 45 hours! My son goes to school two AMs a week and still naps 2 hours a day...But she thinks I should pay her more. This battle has been going on since day #2 with her. The problem is that the next door neighbors have a live out, older woman with her own car, expenses etc. and she gets paid $600/week. Any suggestions on how to come to a resolution? I don't want her to leave (she hasn't said she wants to), but then again I can't be counting minutes and stressing about this every day!

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12 years 11 months ago #47041 by TexasRose
I'm sorry to hear that you've been having money problems with your au pair. Having the live out nanny next door is definitely making it harder. I don't know how exactly you can say this to her without upsetting her, but you all signed a contract for the pay that she gets. It might help to point out that she eats and lives for free, thanks to you. The nanny next door pays her own rent and buys her own groceries.

Fortunately our kids are settling back down and our AP seems very happy again. She never said another word about leaving, thank goodness.

Did you hear about the AP in Colorado who was killed by her ex-boyfriend (another AP)? Our AP just told us about this tonight. Terrible. :(

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

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12 years 6 months ago #47042 by TexasRose
Just wanted to bring this topic back up again since I've seen people mentioning au pairs on other threads.

We've been so pleased with our au pair this year that we have just matched with another one who will start the week before our current AP finished at the end of August. We hope the overlap will help the new AP adjust and get familiar with everything. I will be in the middle of my Internal Med rotation when the next AP arrives, so I won't be as available to help out.

I even made a sort of unusual decision (along with my hubby) and chose a guy for our next AP. My reasons being that my kids are older and more in need of a "camp counselor" type and someone who is comfortable being an authority figure with older kids. The kids want to run around and play soccer and computer games, etc. So many of the young women we interview are more interested in young kids and doing things like reading stories and doing craft projects. So, we'll see how it works! The nice thing about our agency, aupair care, is that if it doesn't work out we can find a different au pair.

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

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