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Nanny/AuPair 101

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9 years 3 months ago #47079 by Nanon

Originally posted by merri:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Ok - I don't even know what to say about your husband taking surfing vacations while you're pregnant... I nearly screamed at the computer.
:mad: :mad: :mad:

Me, too!!!!

There would be a dead husband buried under the house, and a fat life insurance policy helping to pay for childcare 'round these parts. Lol! Oh, wait. That was my inside voice.

I need to be spanked for not reading the entire thread before I posted, so I'm editing. :blush: The previous statement stands, however. I'm glad that you found a way to make it work, though!

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9 years 3 months ago #47080 by Emily2651
I found that woman's business card ... she works with Cultural Care.I haven't actually used them, so I can't offer a definitive recommendation, but she seemed on-the-ball.

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. -- Isak Dinesen

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9 years 3 months ago #47081 by oceanpearl
merri,

I am in my residency, and I am having the EXACT same issue as you.... how to cover early mornings, late evenings, and 1 full weekend a month of call. I have a great hands-on husband, but he is out of town sporadically for usually a week at a time. We dont have a plan on how to manage this yet!

I have been wracking my brain as to whether to do day care, and hire someone for pick up and to stay for an 2-3 hours in the evening. Another thought I have had is to have a live in nanny (in our TINY spare bedroom), and do a few days a week of day care if she can work longer hours on the other days. But that still doesnt cover me for call nights.
I feel pretty stuck... although female residents and physicians do this somehow...so I believe that there has to be a way! (other then a willing family member...which would be ideal)

if I figure out the magic combo, I will pass it on... in the mean time, would love to hear of creative ways that others manage childcare, with a slightly ABNORMAL schedule!

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9 years 3 months ago #47082 by merri
Thanks Emily -

oceanpearl - I'll let you know if I figure it out...

We don't even have a real room - the au pair would have to live in our downstairs den (which is very private, and essentially could be a bedroom).

Another bad part is that since both of our families live away - once we get an au pair... they will have no where to stay.

As far as the 45 hour work week... I was hoping that the au pair might be flexible... that is maybe one week work 20 hrs (when hubby home)... the next week 50-60 - (hubby not home)... I don't know. Some of my classmates have offered to babysit when they are in 4th year and I'm in 3rd - but of course I can't count on that.

It's depressing because this will be an ongoing issue and will get even worse during residency.

I spoke to a local agency - they said that their nannies ran $100 per day! I don't think we can afford that... I mean I still have 2 more years of 40K tuition to fork out...

This stinks!

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9 years 3 months ago #47083 by Emily2651

Originally posted by merri:
As far as the 45 hour work week goes ... I was hoping that the au pair might be flexible ... that is, maybe one week work 20 hrs (when hubby home) ... the next week 50-60 (hubby not home) ... I don't know.

I could absolutely be wrong here, but my sense (from my single conversation) is that work rules for au pairs come straight down from the State Department. In addition to the 45 hour weekly max, they can't work more than 10 hours/day and have to have at least 1.5 consecutive days off/week. It seems plausible that you could get someone who'd be happy to do 60 hours one week and 20 the next, but if it's *technically* against the rules (which, maybe it isn't; I could totally be wrong), it'd be tough to screen candidates for willingness to work that way, you know?

If you call an au pair agency and ask, would you mind sharing the answer? I'd be interested to know.

What about a college student (or preclinical med student) willing to sleep over on the nights you're on call and your husband is traveling?

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. -- Isak Dinesen

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9 years 3 months ago #47084 by LisaFP
Merri,
I hate to break this to you, but I actually don't think it's possible to have two parents with non-traditional work schedules and no family to help, unless you hire a full-time live-in nanny. And it can't be an au-pair from an agency, because they have too many rules on hours/day, etc. as mentioned above.

The problem is day care, most babysitters, or au-pairs won't be able to cover the early morning hours, late nights, overnights, weekends that you'll have to work in residency and in practice when you are on call. When I was first in practice, my husband had traditional hours and the first baby was no problem. If I needed to go in during the night, he was there. During the day, we used a variety of home daycare, babysitters, daycare center, etc. Occasionally I took her with me on rounds if I was stuck on a Saturday, but not too often, and it was distracting. Also not something you can do in med school or residency.

Two more children, a move, and a change in my husband's job later, and I had to make changes. His job now requires frequent travel like what you described. It's just not possible for me to have a regular practice with call. Occasionally I have had a neighbor high school student stay overnight, but that isn't something you can count on on a regular basis.

So for that and a variety of reasons, I changed jobs and now work in urgent care with regular hours that I can control based on his schedule.

My experience with lots of women physicians is that their husbands either stay home with the kids, work regular hours, or the physicians work part-time. I don't know anyone who has a full-time practice with call whose husband travels or works irregular hours.

Good luck to you, though. I hope something works out!

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