Hello Ladies (and our treasured and esteemed male members too)
First off- While I completely agree with Voltaire’s credo of "I might not agree with what you believe, but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it", I'd like to politely remind ya'll that the fastest way to discourage boorish posting behavior (aka "Trolls") is to IGNORE THEIR POSTS. Really.
Just as we politely correct and then ignore our offspring's attempts to interrupt conversations, the same applies here. Ignore them, and they (with the aid of our moderators) will go away.
Okay, now then.
I'd like to add to the hugs and support for the resident's spouse. You're in a tough place of basically being a "life support" for a resident, and it's a tough tough role.
But I'd like to add to the "Activities jar" (GREAT idea!) and ask, Is your hubby as computer-addicted as mine is?
If so, let me tell introduce you to the wonders of pop-up reminders!
It's kind of like the "Activities Jar" but on his email! And like the activities jar takes the pressure off you to rack your brains every week for ideas of what to do, the pop-up takes the pressure off you to nag for things you'd like.
Here's what I've done:
#1- Set up two wish lists on Amazon.com, one for you, one for hubby. Put a few videos you know he'd like, a video game or two, and a few "adult" toys and a "things to do" guide for your town
#2-Find a pop-up reminder program for BOTH of your emails
#3- Tell hubby that you've devised a new game for you two to have fun and ask if you can install some reminders on his email. Then ask him to think about things that he'd like from you, or like to do, and that he's got a week to think of five things. They can be his getting a whole hour to play computer games in his own with no repercussions, or a foot rub, etc.
#4- Install the pop-up "Love reminders" on your email and his (his "wish list" to YOU and Your wish-list to HIM) once a week telling each of you what "surprise" you're each going to give the other. Keep it simple. No more than ten minutes of personal time spent each.
The cool thing here is, that you can give him a whole LIST of cool things to buy/do for you, and all it will take him is five minutes or a mouse click to make you happy! Amazon keeps your credit info on your account, so he can buy you a birthday present or "just because" present he knows you'll like in two minutes, or even be prompted to give you a call and say 'I love you" "just because" when he has a break in rounds and checks his email!
And the BEST part of this is, like the "activities jar" you get the "romance" you want. but nine-times out of ten, you'll have forgotten what you put on his reminder pop-up, so it's STILL a romantic surprise!
And. if he's like my guy- he'll appreciate getting stuff HE likes (smart guys can be tough to shop for).
Hope this helps!