× Family & Parenting

Done having kids?

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13 years 10 months ago #50212 by medstudent31
Thanks for your replies!! Yes, the failure rates of other types of birth control scare me. Also, if pregnancy is unsafe for me now, it's definitely not going to get more safe as I get older!!

DH has been looking up vasectomy online - his comment, "I don't think I want to be awake for this!" Luckily, though, he has always considered the responsibility for *permanent* birth control to be his (instead of me having to go get a tubal, he's willing to do the vasectomy). At this point I am pretty much willing to have him do it. His thing is that he really agonizes over big decisions, and would probably rather I just, you know, reach menopause and then we wouldn't have to make this decision. Since I'm 32, that could be a while! And I'm afraid the decision could be made for us if we had an accident. Yikes!

Of course, part of me would be thrilled to add one to our family, but I'd hate to stroke out again. Also, I echo some of the other feelings about little babies - they are a LOT of work! I had post-partem issues the first time, so I don't have lots of happy feelings about that period either. Some moms seem to do this effortlessly, but not me! Moms of twins ARE super, I don't know how I would do at that...!

Really, my husband & I are thrilled with our family at this point. Our daughter is terrific, and each year we enjoy her more & more! I guess we just need to stop feeling like maybe we're "missing out" by not having more and just be done!!! :yes:

For God did not give us a spirit of fear - but of power, and of love, and a sound mind.

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13 years 10 months ago #50213 by TexasRose
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with permanent birth control who still panics a bit when my period is late! :rotfl: Tubal ligation is about as permanent as it gets, but I was a couple of weeks late in the Fall and was really scared. At 35, starting rotations and with all school age kids I just didn't know how I could possible function as the mom of an infant again. Oh, but I do love playing with everyone else's babies!

"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

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13 years 10 months ago #50214 by Tamar
I had my first child 1 yr before med school. I was sure I was done with kids then! Now he's 12 years old going on adulthood and my life has slowed down somewhat and I found myself pining away for more kids. I'm glad I was talked out of a tubal at age 25 when I was so sure I wanted one. We now have a daughter who just turned one year old and we are enjoying her so much. Parenthood is so different after 12 years of maturing! We're loving it. I'm hoping for more...we'll see. Adoption is definately a consideration. My last pregnancy was kinda rough...4th degree tear and pre-eclampsia...What is meant to be will be. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

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13 years 10 months ago #50215 by Doc201X

Originally posted by Tamar:
I had my first child 1 yr before med school. I was sure I was done with kids then! Now he's 12 years old going on adulthood and my life has slowed down somewhat and I found myself pining away for more kids. I'm glad I was talked out of a tubal at age 25 when I was so sure I wanted one. We now have a daughter who just turned one year old and we are enjoying her so much. Parenthood is so different after 12 years of maturing! We're loving it. I'm hoping for more...we'll see. Adoption is definately a consideration. My last pregnancy was kinda rough...4th degree tear and pre-eclampsia...What is meant to be will be. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

If we have another one, we're going to have a large age gap too. Ironically, I LOVED having an infant around, and I had my daughter when I was in a full-time student in grad school!!!

Honestly, I think one of the reasons I keep putting off med school is because deep down I'd really like to have another child first, and at almost 40 years old, we're running out of time! :eek: But if another pregnany is not in my future, we'll almost certainly adopt. :yes:

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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13 years 10 months ago #50216 by medstudent31
We decided to get the vasectomy! We have an appointment with a urologist already...I have to say I feel really, REALLY good about this decision! It's nice to let go of that feeling that somehow I am "supposed" to want to have more kids. Honestly, babies are great but I do NOT get the urge to bring them home and wake up with them throughout the night!!

Also with my health worries - this is just waaaay better than taking chances.

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom! This thread really helped me clarify what I was already thinking! :grouphug:

For God did not give us a spirit of fear - but of power, and of love, and a sound mind.

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13 years 9 months ago #50217 by sargasso
medstudent- that's the important thing- that you are happy with your decision. :goodvibes:

Somedays i really dont' want anymore children but then i think if we had 2- it would be easy to send them off to play together! LOL! bad I know. :D But it is difficult for us to get pg and to me even more difficult after so i am not really motivated. I especially don't wnat to go through all of th epills, dr appts, blood draws, etc that it woudl take to get pg so i am of the mind set at least for a little while that if it doesn't happen without intervention,then it isn't meant to be. so we would be done and i woudl be okay with that.

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