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AD/HD, lazy parenting or just gone wrong?

16 years 4 days ago #50494 by laural
Dear Dana,
First, please don't think of yourself as a failure as a parent. The fact that you are concerned enough about your son to post as much on this website speaks volumes about you and your relationship with your son.

If you suspect that your son may have AD/HD (as is it called now), PLEASE take him to be tested/evaluated and seek the necessary treatment. The likely recommendations would be a combination of medication and behavior therapy.

Please allow me to tell you a little of my own story: I was diagnosed as an adult about five years ago during my chief residency in General Surgery with AD/HD. My diagnosis came about because a wonderful friend and colleague who was the educational director in our department noticed that there seemed to be this fundamental disconnection between my clinical performance with patients and my test taking and reading skills.

After being diagnosed, I briefly saw an adult neurologist in order to begin on medication and found that I was disappointed in the result. After a couple of years of being intermittently compliant with the medication regimen (I would take myself off of the medication if there were periods that I thought it was not necessary because I was not studying for something and because of the social stigma of "being on medication for my AD/HD), I felt that I accepted my diagnosis of AD/HD and must just still not "have the right stuff" since I was going thru an extended personal and professional crisis.

Thru a strange chain of events, I was recently referred to a physician who specializes in the treatment of AD/HD and other learning disabilities. During my initial evaluation, I learned that I was probably never on the correct medication regimen and have come to realize that I also did not seek out other therapies that may have helped me on the journey of facing the "challenge" (which is how most adult AD/HD therapists prefer to refer to it and how I prefer to view it)of my AD/HD.

As I have begun to education myself about the biochemical differences and psychological implications of AD/HD, I have re-examined some of the educational and life difficulties that I have had and have realized that many were likely manifestations of my basic brain biochemistry. While many would argue (and I suppose rightfully so), that I have achieved a great deal in my lifetime, it has certainly not been without considerable struggle and I can't help but wonder if some of this might have been obviated if my AD/HD had been recognized earlier. I'm still somewhat in the midst of a personal professional crisis, but I'm facing it with a new sense of hope that my future will seem more clear when I recognize my strengths and deficits in light of my AD/HD.

If it does turn out that your son has AD/HD, this has nothing to do with bad parenting. AD/HD has a biochemical basis, much like other more "acceptable" disorders (I think you refer to asthma and the use of bronchodilators in one of your posts). While I was in medical school, it was thought that there was a lack stimulation of certain areas of the brain...the most current thought/theories are that the dopamine receptors in the frontal lobes and basal ganglia are altered slightly from those found in 90% of the population, thus lowering the receptor activity level. Medical therapy is geared to restoring the activity in these areas to that of the other areas of the brain in order to "normalize" the level of activity.

Please go to the sites www.add.org and www.chadd.org for additional information and the best of luck to you and your son.

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16 years 3 days ago #50495 by rockfever
at what age can you start to tell that a child has ADD/ ADHD? my son is almost 2 and while i realize that is young, he has always been VERY active. while he is at home he runs up and down the halls. i am scared to take him out anywhere and we have stopped going to church togteher- my husband and i have to go separately. my church's nursery starts at age 3 because of growth issues.

anyway i was talking to a special ed teacher at the playgournd about it and she said that she orginally thought her duaghter was ADD/ ADHD for the same reason and decided to look into more in the preschool age. she discovered information that poitned to the fatc that if a toddler/ early preschooler can sit for a period of time, even a short period of time then their behavior is age appropriate. so like if he can sit for a book or for 5-10 mins watching a video. my sons does this but he still seems very hyper and active. does this soudn normal?

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16 years 2 days ago #50496 by PremedRN
rdys, and laural,
Thanks for your replies....it means a lot.
Does anyone know what the manufacturer of streterra recommends for age ? I think Ill go surfing for the info. rdys, Im glad you have a med that is working, the depakote my son is on doesnt seem to be doing the trick. I am soo happy for your little guy!
laural, yes you are an accomplished woman, obviously doeant mean you cant have AD/HD. How amazing for you have to come thus far. You have my admiration. My son is very smart, although you wouldnt know it by the way he behaves, like a wild animal. He just turned 3, knows all his colors, can count to 10, can pick out geometric shapes from cut up apples, he amazed me with this the other day, because Im not sitting with him to learn these things, he is picking it up somewhere, somehow, and must be quick at learining because of his short attention span. Anyways, thanks for the advice, and goodluck to you. Im going to visit that site soon as I post.

The signs you are mentioning seems like the beginning of my son's story, there's a difference between terrible two's, and the above and beyond terrible two's as in AD/HD. My son has been diagnosed and he is 3. They say if they can sit for 20 minutes, like when you read a book to him, he most likely doesnt have it. But there are times if my son is interested enough that he will watch a movie (started doing this just recently) There's more to the symptomology than just that, a lot of time they are impulsive, like will take off down the street for no apparent reason, try to push other kids down stairs, just impulsiveness. Let me know if you have any questions.

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16 years 1 day ago #50497 by rydys

ADHD isn't "officially" diagnosed until a child is 5-6 years old (DSM), but certainly children with adhd are symptomatic at a much younger age, usually from birth! It is typical for a child with ADD to be able to concentrate on a movie or computer game for long periods of time--even hours. If you think about it, there is so much going on in every scene of a movie or video game that it is ADD heaven--constant movement, several plots to follow, etc.

A suggestion--have your son evaluated by a ped neurologist or developmentalist. No one would start a 2 year old on medication, but they should be able to hook you up with someone who can help you with behavioral modification. If its gotten so bad that you can't take him out, get some help! Good Luck!

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16 years 1 day ago #50498 by PremedRN
Yeah, the old school of thought is to diagnose later when it affects/manifests in school. But the newer school of thought is to diagnose (accurately) earlier to prevent problems before school.
I talked to a nuerologist, therapist, pediatric psychiatrist and they all thought the same AD/HD at the young age of 3.

Rockfever, if your situation is anything like mine, it maybe next to impossible to benefit from behavior modification. It is a hard thing to do with the younger ones with such diagnosis. But whatever works!
The thing I was worried about the most was getting an accurate diagnosis at such a young age. I didnt want him misdiagnosed, but at the same time, I didnt want the diagnosis overlooked because of his age. This child is definately quite different than any child I have ever raised or saw, and believe me I have seen almost all. (I have 6 kids) and 60 people in my immediate extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles). I knew something had to be done, I knew something was different probably at age 1.5. I cant take him out anywhere, we live like hermits. It can be very depressing sometimes. But we just take day by day.....
There's nothing that bugs me more when discussing my son's diagnosis with people that some ignorant person comments on "probably most of it has to do with being a three year old", uggggh, so I must be a lazy parent that cant cope so I want my kid drugged? NOT. I have and am raising six, I am a registered nurse too, so there must be more to it than meets the eye!
" How bout coming over and spending a day with him, better yet at your house, then tell me what ya think?""Take him to church with ya, oh and lets not forget the Wal-Mart trip...." Sorry, I had to vent.

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