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Beginning medical school broken hearted :(

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9 years 4 months ago #75125 by southernbelle
I'm sorry to hear this. Just a suggestion, for a little peace of mind, maybe you should consider getting some eggs frozen so when the time is right for children, you'll be working with younger eggs. From researching online, fertility specialists suggest it if you plan on delaying child bearing.

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9 years 4 months ago #75126 by snowflake
Don't feel like a fool. You made a perfectly reasonable interpretation of how he felt about you (he was living with you, you had discussed the future, you'd even discussed kids!) Normal, functional people do not do what he did to you. Keep telling yourself that!
One thing someone told me I was broken-hearted: you may feel really sad right now, but almost without doubt there is a REAL person out there who would be ecstatic if he know what had happened, because this means that you'll be single he meets you. Yes, he hasn't met you yet, but whoever you end up with is an actual person who is alive right now. It helped me to think about what he might be doing right now--watching t.v.? Hanging out with friends? Getting dumped himself? If he could only know that you've just been broken up with by this guy, his main emotion would be happiness.

I was broken-up with in a similar way to a guy that I was head over heels in love with that I would have married him had he asked me (thank god he never did ask so I never had the opportunity). I was SO devastated, but I shouldn't have been--in less than one year, I met the man I'm now getting married to (although we've been dating for over 5 years now) and I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. Unlike my previous guy, I believe in my heart that my fiance would never ever do such a callous thing, no matter what happened between us (he even told me that if I cheated on him, he would want to go to counseling and work through it if we could--not that I ever would!) This is the type of person you want to end up with, in my opinion. This guy you're describing just doesn't sound worth working on. I'm sure you've heard it before, but I'm SURE you can do better (and I don't even know you).
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9 years 4 months ago #75127 by southernmd
Just to add on to snowflake's post - I also was engaged to someone and had a horrible broken engagement prior to marrying my husband. Absolutely glad it happened to me, because I am definitely with the right man now. You never know how much better it can be til you get there...meaning, just wait til the right one comes. You will be so glad this happened! I promise! Sounds crazy, I know. Sex and the City reruns, red wine, chocolate, and repainting my entire apartment living room and kitchen in red (which my now-husband got the fun job of helping me repaint subsequently when I moved from that apartment - what joy, right?) helped me with coping. Find your indulgences, but also a goal to focus on. Sounds like you have a great one built in with school starting - what a wonderful distraction to focus you away from the pain you unfortunately have to trod through with these things. Best of luck! You can do this!

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7 years 10 months ago #83500 by Oceans3
Hi, I am in a similar situation as you. I started medical school August 2011. At that time, my boyfriend and I had been together for over 4 years. We met in undergrad, and he was starting his M3 year and I was going to start my M1 year. We were doing long distance during his first 2 years of medical school, and the application year was full of anticipation as I prayed and prayed that I would get into the same school as him so we can finally be physically together again. Although I did want to make sure that I chose the school of my liking and what I felt fit me best, he, of course, played a big part in my decision for choosing to attend that medical school.

For the entire year leading up to me getting in, he talked about how much he was looking forward to us being in medical school together, us moving in together and getting married after we both graduated. I really believed that he was sure about us. I was certain that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was so excited to start medical school and to take the next step in our relationship by moving in together. I even brought my two dogs with me because he said he thought it'd be really nice to take care of them together.

Well in about 2 months after moving in together, he seemed to get stressed with school and life and us and stopped communicating with me. This was very frustrating because I felt like an estranged roommate instead of the love of his life. I tried everything I could think of to try to work on our relationship and to get him to open up to me...couples counseling (which I ended up going to by myself), writing him an email, reading articles about how to save relationships...all while trying to juggle my first few months of medical school. By the time month 3 came around, he told me that he has given all that he can give to this relationship and that he was done. He moved out, and I was with a 2-person rent to pay, 2 dogs, and an extremely frustrated, upset, and broken heart.

Until this day, I'm not really sure what happened to "working things out and communicating to each other no matter what". I don't know what happened with "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, through thick and thin". I'm just trying my best to focus on myself and my studies. I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I feel betrayed. I feel like a rug was pulled from under me. Now about 3 months after the break-up, he doesn't seem to understand "Please leave me alone". I get texts and emails from him asking me if I want his old books, if he can ship his mail to my apartment, etc. I just want to be left alone so I can move on and focus on school, but it's really difficult right now given the entire situation.

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7 years 10 months ago #83504 by sahmd
(((hugs))) I'm sorry that happened to you, Oceans3. I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to ignore his texts and e-mails. If you want, you can let him know that you will be doing this because you need to get on with your life.

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