We are going to set up a meeting between the director, myself, and the program psychologist (I really like her so I requested she be present) and go from there. My school's dean recommended asking the program to "take a year off" instead and decide during that year. I feel very lucky to have people willing to work through these existential questions with.
I agree, plan B is super important. My dad keeps reminding me of this too
Things get exponentially better , the further you get from internship - but if you hate the medical field altogether and don't see yourself doing that at all (and not just concerned about the busy residency years)- then no point being miserable. In that case, I would say either 1. don't even bother with internship or , conversely, 2. get the whole enchilada, but do another residency where you won't have to deal with direct patient care, hospitals etc- like medical genetics, public health etc.
A year of family practice doesn't really give too many options IMO. My personal bias would be to either do the whole thing or not do it at all.
It definitely does get easier. Someone above mentioned loan repament jobs after residency-be careful with those b;/c a lot of them don't let you work part time. I had one and it was a full time ocntract. After I had my first child I tried to reduce hours and could not do it without severe prepayment penalties. So, be careful.
I think all of this depends upon the debt you have. I would echo your own thoughts-stick it out for intern year at least so you can get licensed, esp if you need to work to pay off loans. Don't forget, fam med is a three year residency only. Once you have done the first year you are almost there-4 years of med school and one year of residency down.
Another thought would be a more friendly residency like preventive med....
I was informed that I would be required to get a wavier for the NRMP in order to be able to get out of the match. Ugh, I thought it would be easier than that. I'm researching it right now. They only grant waivers for "extreme and serious hardship".
I am going to be taking the year off! I was shocked how willing the program was to work with me. I am "deferring" my start date until July 2013, however, if (before interview season starts) I decide I don't want to start next year I can just let the program know.
I am so relived. Thank you thank you for all the support/helpful advice!
Now I at least have a few more months to decide if I want to be a doctor So I'm sure more threads/questions to come...