Me, at 33 weeks, standing 5'4", weighing 152 lbs. (big but not out of control, I think), in a parking lot of a Whole Foods, standing next to my car, digging in my purse to make sure I didn't leave my cell phone in the car before going into the store.
A woman, likely in her 40s, well-dressed, well-groomed, (ostensibly having completed her shopping) approaches her luxury SUV, parked next to me, observes a shopping cart that someone left next to her vehicle, turns to me, and utterly unprovoked says (I kid you not):
"You wouldn't be so fat, if you weren't so lazy and returned your shopping carts, instead of leaving them to damage other people's cars."
I felt like somebody had just squeezed all the air out of my lungs and I almost burst out in tears. I turned around and started to walk away, and was almost too dazed for a comeback (and I am usually very good with comebacks... years of training ), but just then the baby moved and it was such an empowering moment, so I turned around and told her (verbatim):
"If you were a female human instead of a female dog, and didn't have your head up in your colon, you'd notice that I'm 8 months pregnant! And that is NOT my shopping cart!"
(Note: Since long before reading Vonnegut's (RIP ) "the excrement has hit the air-conditioning", I have been practicing the art of insulting cleverly and in proper English... it all started with a little book called "The Little Book of Famous Insults" (I highly recommend it). )
She just stood there staring at me like an idiot... that felt better, but I still went into the store, straight to the bathroom, called my husband and started bawling. (This was almost 5 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.)
My mother-in-law: "Promise me you'll have a natural childbirth. You'll love your baby more if you endure the pain. I'm telling my son not to let you use drugs. I don't want you to hurt the baby." (While having a discussion about my friend who recently had a baby) Trust me, it was an "Oh, crap" kinda moment for me.
I'd like to footnote that my mother in law is from another country, had a very bad experience with her first labor (spinal, forceps - many stitches) and she is the best mother in law ever. I laid into her pretty hard with the "It's MY body, thank you!" line. I told her I'd think about it with #3. (I plan to adopt #3, hehe)
On a side note, worst pre-marital comment, "Well, as least you're getting the first marriage out of the way young!" - at my bridal shower!
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Your belly is finally starting to match your butt!"
This from a fellow resident at about 4 or 5 months with #2.
"You look like you're about to have twin boys!"
This from my med school financial aid advisor when I was 37 weeks with my first...one girl who I carried low the whole time. I'm 5'2" and I gained 45 pounds the first time and 32 the second. I looked like an eggplant both times!