Started fellowship with maternity leave and i thought life would be much easier this.. I have NO time to study. This is my day:
Baby wakes up at 5 am, go to work at 7 am, come home at 6 pm, put baby to sleep by 7 pm, eat/do dishes/organize milk for next day/shower and in bed by 9 pm. Baby wakes up at 11/12 and then at 2/3. I am exhausted. Any advice? I really would like to read but find no time to do so. I feel stupid compared to my other fellows and lazy as well becuase they're all doing research and submitting abstracts and I am just happy I showed up to work.
I'm sure you know that it is not stupidity, just lack of time, that is preventing you from doing these academic things that you feel you should be doing. Don't beat yourself up about it. Your normal day seems very busy with essential tasks and you probably can't delegate much of them. Maybe someone else could do the dishes. Have you tried reading while BF? How about on weekends? Could you carve out a few chunks of free time then? Hopefully your baby will start sleeping better with time and things will get better.
Do you have time to read during the day? Maybe even just while pumping (if you pump a few times that could be 30-45 minutes of studying)? If possible I would try to outsource any or all of those tasks you have between 7 and 9pm. Can your significant other help out? Could you afford outside help to do laundry/ dishes/ cleaning once a week? We got a nanny with our second child when we were both residents and made a lot of financial sacrifice but the improvement in our daily lifestyle was well worth it when she spent the kids' naptime doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.