wow! That is a great article that Conflicted posted. It really sums up what I feel personally and I think many of my friends feel as well. I think it applies to the younger generation of male physicians as well. My husband and many of my male colleagues from residency married wives who are also physicians or who are working professionals, and they expect to be very involved in their kids' lives and to share household duties, etc. And as a result, they may not be committing 110% to work, at the expense of their families. That's very different than a generation ago. When I was a junior resident (7 yr academic general surgery program), my program director was shocked when one of the male residents requested a week off for paternity leave-- he was the first. By the time I graduated, several more male residents had taken time off after the births of their offspring and even one female resident, though she only took two weeks maternity leave. As far as med school couples go, many of my classmates dated each other and more than half went on to get married and are still married. Yes, med school is a small community where people like to gossip and breakups can be nasty, but it shouldn't preclude you from exploring a relationship with a classmate. Best wishes.
Great article, thanks! I also liked
this other article
(which cited the first and was linked at the bottom of the page)
My favorite part: "As women physicians struggle with the stresses associated with 'having it all,' they should be reassured by two studies which found that male and female physicians without children experience less job satisfaction than doctors with children. ( residentmom, this one is for you -->) In those studies, physicians with the largest families somewhat surprisingly reported the greatest job satisfaction."
Well, thanks! I do feel like my kids keep me sane.
Twinkle, I was a third- year resident in FP and my husband was flying-distance away. I started out with kids at 3.5, 2, and 6 months when he left, and when we moved they were 4.5, 3, and 18 months. It was a challenge, but I was really pretty proud of myself for doing it. I moved in to an apt right near my office and their daycare (from our house with big yard (mowing!) out in the country), had lots of supportive friends and a great sitter we had for my entire residency (she stayed overnight on call nights), and I worked my tail off. Would I do it again... not if I could avoid it, but it's nice to know I *could* if I had to.
ResidentMom<br /><br />"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much." --Jackie O.
Great discussion topic! My husband is a neurosurg resident, and I'm an anesthesiology resident. While we maybe don't see each other as much as residents w/ non-physician spouses, I think we really enjoy having someone at home who understands what we're going through. We're expecting our first this fall, that should be a fun balancing act, especially as we'll need childcare probably 60hrs/wk. But I'm sure we'll find a way to make it work.
resident mom, wow! you are a trooper! it's funny that you say your kids keep you sane...my sanity is something i often question when i've spent long periods with my kids.. :boggled: the constant..MOMMY, WHY DOES HE GET TO GO FIRST?!?!?! oh my...
pazguata, what years are you in terms of your and your husband's residencies? how do you two manage to keep connected, esp with such demanding specialties? i just wonder as if my little fantasy pans out, we would probably both be in residency (one of us in surgery probably) if kids come in to the picture.