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stephanieoliva, that is a very good question. There is a very interesting book called "Unbending Gender" by Joan Williams that talks a lot about that issue. She is a lawyer so it is not really light reading, but it is still fascinating. Her basic viewpoint (and I'm paraphrasing) is that our society is completely set up so that mothers stay at home and fathers go out into the workforce. All the gains that women have made in the last few decades have actually done very little to change people's expectations and the way work and child care are structured. This is largely under people's radar, so women go along happily pursuing a career/profession and then all of a sudden, when they become mothers, they are totally shocked to find out how reality conflicts with how they thought it would be. I was hit hard by this and have been at home for over 5 years now, although I wish I could work. Other mothers go back to work and feel a lot of guilt (which their husbands never feel). And then there are others who have somehow managed to make it all work out...and a lot of them are here on MomMD!
Why is it that women seem to be the only ones experiencing this question??