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How/when did you meet your mate?

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16 years 6 months ago #5560 by LittleK
Since so many of the women here are married and have attributed so much to their partners, I am wondering how you all found your mates. Especially for those who are married to people outside of medicine. Did you meet in college? Before medical school? In medical school?

A female doctor once told me that the secret to surviving medicine and motherhood simultaneously was an understanding and supportive mate. (to which she added, "he won't be in med school.") So my question is, "Where is he?" She married her high school sweetheart. That opportunity has long since passed for me, along with the possibility of meeting him in college. I've heard recommendations not to date other med students. Anyone have thoughts or inspiring stories?

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16 years 6 months ago #5561 by psych
I met my husband at a scientific meeting. He took time off from med school to do research, and I was a grad student before med school. We fell in love basically at first sight, had a LOT in common from our backgrounds and priorities and values, and from the beginning my plans to go into medicine/science were part of the picture, and he was actively supportive and challenging. We talked A LOT about parenting before we ever talked about getting married, because I knew I hoped to have kids and if I did I wanted an active partner who was willing to be sacrificial and to spend time. This was probably the best thing we did in advance.

I think it also helps that we are both in medicine. We married in the middle of my 2nd yr and his 4th yr, so by 6 months he was an intern and I started clinical rotations. Not only could we see each other at the hospital (I know I saw my husband more than other wives of interns) but we really understood what each other was experiencing and could be actively supportive without being too jealous of the time. Now, since I work less hours than he does, I know how academic medicine works and I can be supportive instead of angry with his long hours, grant process, publication issues, etc. At least most of the time!

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16 years 6 months ago #5562 by ladysurg
I met mine on a blind date. He lived next door to one of the nurses I worked with at the hospital where I interned. I almost didn't go since he was a Navy pilot and I thought they were all full of themselves. We did go out, had a great time and were married 9 months later. That was almost 19 years ago.

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16 years 6 months ago #5563 by MelissaGray
I married my high school sweetheart when I finished college.

I'm glad that he is not in medicine. It has already taken over much of my world so it's nice to come home to something completely different. He has been wonderful in taking up the slack with me in school. I truly could not do this without him.

There are a few couples dating in my med school class. So far, things seem to be going well for them.

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16 years 6 months ago #5564 by momofchris
We met my first semester in community college- he was president of a student organization whose meeting I happened to attend just because my ride home was going. What a fortuitous coincidence! He was recently divorced at the time we met- and understandably reluctant to enter into a new relationship, so we took it really slow at first. 14 years and a baby later, we're still loving it.
I think sometimes the best men are the least obvious. Some of my college girlfriends thought he was "nice but boring"....they wanted some wildly flamboyant romantic to sweep them off their feet. A couple of them are now divorced and several more in miserable marriages.
I guess what I'm trying to say is give the nice, quiet guys a chance! In my case, I had to take on a more assertive role in getting to know him (i.e., asking him out on a study date, etc.)
He has been so sweet, loyal, and staunchly supportive over all these years- I am truly blessed to have met him. He's my #1 fan and is always there for me when life gets rough and I need moral support (like when I had to reapply to med school 3 times!) He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes care of the baby, you name it. Once I start 3rd year rotations, he's going to stay home full-time with our 11-month-old for as long as we can afford it. There is no way I could do what I'm doing without him.

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16 years 6 months ago #5565 by Pierfederici

I guess what I'm trying to say is give the nice, quiet guys a chance!

I can't agree more! I met my husband when I was leading an Amnesty International group in Germany. I'm embarassed to say it now, but he was so quiet that he had been going to meetings for 3 months before I even knew his name! Luckily, I mentioned that I wanted to travel in Italy (he's Italian) and he offered to meet me at a Cafe and give me some advice. We ended up staying there chatting until the Cafe closed and about a year later we were married!

I've never had anyone in my life as supportive as he is and I treasure every day that we have together. I don't think I would be able to go through the process of medical school if I were with anyone who believed in me any less. Thank godness for the nice, quiet guys!

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