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starting a family

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13 years 6 days ago #5804 by Azgirl
any advice on how one would start a family while trying to become a doctor... when would be the best time during my education? or should i wait till i'm done with medical school?. I really don't want to put my child in preschool before the age of 3.

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13 years 6 days ago #5805 by Baby Einstein
Generally, there's no perfect time, but in your case... I think you've answered your own question. If you don't want your kids to be cared for by anyone else but you until they're 3, you should have all your children before starting med school. Many women take a year off from school when they have their first child, but 3 years would be educational suicide! It's also difficult to take such a long time off while you're in practice and return later. This option is possible, but if you know for sure you'll want to stay home, then it's definitely easier to have your children first. The question becomes: if you delay your education to have children, will you still have the drive to go to medical school later?
Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll be happy either way.

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13 years 6 days ago #5806 by Azgirl
Yes i wouldn't take that much time off school...
When in med school how flexible is your class scedual or do you not have any choice?... I suppose i i were to have kids i could put them in preschool if i could be done with my classes pretty early in the day. Or do any med schools have day care for their students?

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13 years 6 days ago #5807 by Drey
I agree. planning to take 3 years off (per child?) is not going to be easy during medical school, residency, or practice. If you really can't compromise on that, you should probably have your kiddos before you start the process.

As far as schedules go, it depends. Many schools have lax attendance policies during the first and second years, but you really have no choice during third and fourth years. Some women take a few months off during this time, but not much more. It's also possible to graduate up to a year late, but your day to day schedule during rotations is totally at the mercy of your residents.

The other problem is that day care is not cheap, and it will add to your already expensive loans during school. Also, you will need a babysitter in addition to daycare (or your husband with a flexible job) because most daycares aren't open from 5AM to 8:30 pm, which were my surgery rotation hours.

That being said at least two of us in my class are considering 4th year babies, and one entering first year student has a toddler and an infant (but, her husband works from home, and she's OK with daycare).

I think the key thing to realize is that compromises will have to be made. You can be a good mother and a good doctor. You cannot be the perfect A+ mother of the year and also Dr. Utopia. :rolleyes: Flexibility and a good support system are key.

Best of luck,

Drey

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13 years 6 days ago #5808 by Azgirl
Thanks drey that was quite helpful:)

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13 years 5 days ago #5809 by Baby Einstein
Just wanted to add that, while my school has lax attendance policies and I rarely go to class (watch videos at higher speed instead), I still need childcare every day because:
1) I always have a lab, a meeting, a mandatory class here and there. I'd say at least 3 days a week, I have to be at school for an hour or two.
2) Even if you can stay home, you need to STUDY! Studying only during baby's nap and after bedtime would not be enough to pass, at least for me. You may be able to get some studying done when your infant is awake, but a toddler? Forget it!

Drey made a good point about the cost of daycare too. I pay 15K of tuition for med school (state school), but I paid 10K for my toddler's tuition! :eek: But then again, he's so little he's learning more than I am :rotfl:

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