× Women Medical Students

med married to med-when to have kids?

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14 years 8 months ago #25162 by mrssd
I have seen a lot of posts about the best time to have kids but I am wondering what if you are married to a fellow med student. My husband and I are in the same class. We would like to have our first child at the end of our 3rd year because we would each be able to take 2 months off and from what I gather medical school leaves you a lot more time with the baby than residency so I would like to have that for their first year of life. But how do you manage in residency? I will do peds and my husband definitely won't be doing surgery but will my child be neglected? How much control do I have over that? Our families live far away but we have friends to help. Our parents are worried that their future grandchildren will be raised by strangers and I am also worried about who will watch the baby. Any suggestions/advice/help will be greatly appreciated!!

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14 years 8 months ago #25163 by Drey
It would be nice for both of you to be able to get time off for the baby, but you will definitely have to use child care of some sort, especially with no family nearby. Are you willing to take out more loans just to cover baby expenses and child care? I know that some guys in our class have taken out loans to support their SAHM wives and their children, and that's a LOT of extra money. You would also have to take loans for child care expenses, which can be as much as $175/week for an infant.

You might do best to get a nanny, especially if you aren't likely to be working during normal day care open hours. However, that's more $$.

It's a hard choice to make, because there is no GOOD time for two physicians to have a baby, but if you want my :twocents: I'd say wait until residency when you will at least be making some money to help cover the costs.

In the end, it's your decision. Good luck with whatever you decide :wave:

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14 years 8 months ago #25164 by Frances Rivera
I am a mother of twq not in med school yet but in undergrad. The same issue was placed inmy table when I started school. However and I don't know how willing are you to try this, you can go to your local social services division they are most likely to have some kind of federal funding for childcare, and you are mostlikely to be approved if your income is low (so since you are a student you'll probably qualify). How about your college do they have a daycare on campus? Check it out, it can't hurt.

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14 years 8 months ago #25165 by Emily2651
I don't have any advice for the OP, but I just wanted to chime in and repeat what the others have said: childcare is incredibly expensive. I know the cost of living the SF Bay Area (where I live) is absurd, but Drey, your figure of $175/wk sounds way too low to me. On campus childcare at my university runs $1800+/mo for an infant. And nanny care is $15+/hr (and waaay up - I recently saw an ad in the school newspaper for a nanny position that paid $60K + generous benefits), plus taxes and benefits. You can bet that we're waiting to have kids until we have a grown-up income. :(

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. -- Isak Dinesen

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14 years 8 months ago #25166 by momofchris
I just know that I can't bear the thought of leaving my 5 month old baby when I start residency. In fact, I have already requested to start my intern year a few months late because of my family issues.
If it were me, I would wait until after residency or at least late in residency to have a baby. Barring that, I would probably time it for mid-to-late 4th year, then have mom take a year off prior to residency, though I realize that would affect your ability to couples-match.

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14 years 8 months ago #25167 by Drey
Wow--$1800/month!!!

I posted $175/week because my mother owns day care centers, and that's the going rate for young toddlers. I don't remember what the going rate for infants was, but I'm sure it wasn't more than $200/week, which is $800/month. This is in Dayton, OH though. You need to move out of CA! :-D

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