moms in medical school

I am a first year with five children, four still at home with the youngest being in second grade. I had figured it would be hard being older (35) and having a family to take care of, but I didn't realize how torn I would feel between spending time with the kids and spending extra time studying. I know that I could be near the top of the class if I devoted more time to study, but then I also feel that I am balancing school and home well right now and should settle for being at the mean. Then I get ahead of myself and worry about getting into a decent residency if I don't score higher on exams or volunteer more. It seems everyone at school is involved in some kind of volunteer work in the community, and I just don't have the time right now. I find myself envious of the 22 year-olds at my lab table with no responsibilities other than their studies. I have to remind myself that there is a trade off one way or another for women... and, I cannot imagine having to plan for a family during all of this.

There are several older students in my class, but only one other mother that I have met. I think I need to spend more time on these boards!

Wow - I just spent 45 minutes writing about my life only to have the forum reject my posting for too many smilies and subsequently delete everything I wrote!

Oh well. Short and sweet this time:

I'm a new mom and a second-year med student. I am SO happy .

This is a typical day:

6:30am Wake up and feed Timo
8am Walk to Class
8-10am Class- yippee... :scratchchin: well, who am I kidding?
10am Pump in nursing mother's room at hospital
10am-noon: more class

Meanwhile on the home-front:
Daddy watches Timo til 9am
Daddy drops off Timo at neighbor's for babysitting
Daddy goes to class 9am-11am
Daddy picks up Timo from sitter at 11am

Noon - Family lunch time at home!
(Lunch for Timo too )

1p-5p I play, nap and sing with Timo. I exercise for an hour while he plays on a blanket on the floor or we go out runnning with my jogging stroller. I try to study if I can motivate myself to and Timo's being good

1p-5p Dave works for Dept. of Family & Preventative Medicine and studies on the job (perfect student job)

5p - Daddy home from work - yay! :hyper:

6p-9p Daddy to class on Tues/Thurs, Mommy on call Mon/Wed nights

10:30p Timo to bed...night night. :cloud9:

10:30p to midnight: relax or study (usually a mix of the two with more of the latter)

To all the moms in med school or pre med - hang in there and try to be happy. I can say emphatically that I am so happy with my decision to be a mom and a med student. I am so content and that carries through to my mothering and my relationship with my husband. You can make it work!

Hmmm, well, this is my first post. I'm a 28yo MSII. My daughter is 5 and she started kindergarten this year! I really couldn't imagine doing this any other way when I started and I have never for a second regretted being a mother in med school. I am the only mother in my class. (There are 5 fathers, I think, including one whose wife gave birth during first year--but it really is a whole different ball game when you're the mom.)

First year, my husband was in the military and on active duty, so we watched the whole affair overseas with increasing trepidation. Ultimately, we ended up deciding to part ways this past summer. I have full custody of our daughter. I don't mind the idea of being a single mother, even in Medical School. My daughter grounds me and reminds me of all that is positive and lingering out there, beyond the pages of Netter and Robbins' (not to mention court rooms and all of that!). I've chosen to stay in school this year despite the ongoing divorce and all of the other things going on in my personal life. Sometimes, it's really just a lot.

I think that the decision of going to medical school or staying in has to be made on an individual basis by every woman. You really have to know yourself well and you have to be incredibly adaptable. Having a real talent for the material certainly can't hurt either! I often feel like an oddball in my class, but I'm pretty comfortable with making my own path.


I do get questions frequently from other women in my class about balancing all of this with motherhood. I would never lie to them and tell them that being a mother doesn't impact you professionally, or that being a med student doesn't impact your motherhood. I find that I study about 1/4 to 1/3 as much as my single classmates and I get by. If I wasn't a mother, I would certainly study more, but I think I would obsess over every little detail and maybe even lose my mind! So, my grades are a little lower, but I think I'm a better person for it. My daughter will grow up seeing her mother as a strong, intelligent and capable woman. The down side is that she does cry a lot at night when I'm up studying and she doesn't have me to tuck her in. I try to explain to her why this is all necessary and a good thing, but I do know that she is still sad not to have more of mommy. But it is kind of neat when her friends fall down and get hurt and she asks "mommy, would you like to examine it?"

Hi,
I find this so helpful to read.
I am just finishing my first year medschool, going to second year in Jan (Im in South Africa) and I have just found out Im pregnant. Im 27 years old.
I am absolutely passionate about medicine and have also been quite worried at the thought of only starting a family after intern and community service - at 36 years old...and having 12 hour shifts at the hospital then....
Any more stories/advice/experience about being pregnant or having babies at medschool?
Thanks....

Hi, I am a first year medical student at UNECOM in Biddeford, ME. I a "late-bloomer" as one of my professors said since I am 40yo. My husband and I have 6 children, all boys, ranging in age from 11 to 24. Making the decision to go to medical school was a huge one for me -- much more complicated given my age and my family. However, it was something I had always wanted to do and with the support of my wonderful husband, we are making it work. I think my situation is unique in another way too as I am living here in Biddeford while my husband remains at home in Springfield, MA with 3 of our boys. The other 3 moved out this fall to go to college themselves. Most weekends, some or all of the family comes to visit me and we try to squeeze family time in between my studies. I try to make sure that I spend most, if not all, of Saturday with them doing whatever. Daily phonecalls, sometimes 2 or 3, are an absolute necessity however brief they may be. Although it was hard for me to get used to being alone, I am quickly adjusting. I am trying not to let the overwhelming amount of knowledge I have to cram into my brain intimidate me.

I would love to hear from other moms close to my age and in similar situations.

Bernadette

I forgot to say in my previous note that I gave up medical school the first time around (20 years ago) because I found out I was pregnant and didn't think I could devote the time and energy to being both a med student and a mom.