× Women Medical Students

deciding whether to bail out!

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16 years 6 months ago #27166 by thirtyone
I am really starting to feel that baby clock ticking and want to have a baby really soon, like by next year. But my biggest problem is that I won't have any family helping me with my baby when I will still be a med student(in my clinical rotations). If I didn't have to think about starting a family, I would most likely finish med school. But now that I have to make so many family decisions, I am wondering do I really want to be a doctor? Will I really like it? Will I regret having to juggle family and a career? Who will help me take care of my baby when I have one?--MY BIGGEST ISSUE. I don't think I absolutely love medicine but I love the practicality of medicine so much--since everyone eventually gets sick, even myself. Has anyone had to leave their newborn with someone before? Any regrets with lost time with kids? Is medicine worth all the sacrifices as a women? Any advice would be really appreciated!

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16 years 5 months ago #27167 by Laurie
Hi thirtyone. I am not sure I can give much advice, but I can tell you my story. I started med school when my daughter was 3 years old and ended up having to take a break between 1st and 2nd year. I knew med school would be hard, but I don't think I realized how hard. I have just started my 3rd year and though I wish I were graduating with my friends, I am SO thankful that I took the time out to be with my daughter. We've not been able to get pregnant again, so she truly is a blessing for us. Now that she is a bit older, I've been able to manage things better. I would not put off trying to have a baby too long. The worst that could happen is you'd have to take a leave of absence or drop out if it just didn't work for your family to juggle baby and school. Med school can always wait; my school was not the most receptive to me taking a leave, but when they realized that it was either they let me take a leave or I'd quit, they became more accomodating. The other thing that I wanted to tell you was that some of my family is in town, yet friends have actually been more helpful to me than they have. I think it's hard for family members to realize exactly how difficult medical school is. Wherever you are, there will be someone to help you. I'm sure of that. I hope this helps. Feel free to email me anytime; This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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16 years 5 months ago #27168 by thirtyone
I have been spinning my head this summer trying to make the "best" decision. I like my life nice and neat and planned out, but have realized that this decision won't ever be nice and neat. i have realized that I just need to ask myself how much I want to still be a doctor. I am not ready to let it go so I have decided to return...and juggle baby and school when it comes time. Thanks Laurie for sharing about how helpful friends have been--that gives me hope! :cloud9:

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16 years 5 months ago #27169 by Laurie
You are welcome! I wish you the best of luck. I'll be rooting for you! Let me know if you need to "chat" as you go through this next year. You can do it!!!! :yes:

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16 years 5 months ago #27170 by susieq
i have just started med school this past week and have been having serious doubts about my desire to be a doctor for the past several months. i don't know if it's the lifestyle i want anymore and i don't feel like i have the motivation for the long haul in me... school and then residency... i have been thinking about family life and having kids and don't feel like this profession will suit my desired way of life... i am trying to figure out things i would do if i were not in medicine but haven't found something that will challenge me enough. also i have wondered about what kinds of opportunities are out there for an m.d. who may not continue on to a residency program.

right now i am really struggling to find the desire but have made myself commit to the year and taking things day by day, but i am really unhappy... do people ever change their minds after they start school that this may not be what they want any more?

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16 years 5 months ago #27171 by momofchris

Originally posted by susieq:
do people ever change their minds after they start school that this may not be what they want any more?

I'm a third year struggling with the same issues. Everything changed after my son was born at the end of 1st year- suddenly, he's the only thing I care about anymore and I am having very serious doubts about whether I still want to do medicine. Now that I'm gone 100 hours per week on rotations, I miss him horribly. But I guess since I've come this far, I'm going to go ahead and finish up. There's no other career that I'd rather be doing, but I wish I could just take a few years off to stay home, maybe have another baby or two, then go back in a few years. Unfortunately, I'll have about $150K of debt when I graduate, so I don't see how that will be feasible. OTOH, resident salaries are such a measly pittance anyway, maybe we could live off my husband's salary and get forbearance on my loans. It means the interest still accummulates and I'll end up paying a lot more back, but maybe it would be worth it to be able to spend those precious first few years with my kid(s) (hopefully plural!)
Have you considered taking a leave of absence? Also, if there is some sort of free counseling at your school, take advantage of that opportunity. I think half of our class, myself included, used our counselor and it really helps just having someone objective to talk to and listen.
BTW if I had it to do over, I wouldn't have gone to med school. Maybe I'll feel differently after I get through this rotation (OB/GYN and it's KILLING me!) I sure hope so.

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