× Women Medical Students

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28613 by elisemomof3
You gals are all so wonderful! I also received a couple pm's that were wonderful too. We did hire a housekeeper who comes in EVERY DAY (we need that much help to keep us sane) but we didn't hire her until just before the 3rd anatomy exam. This was because 1) it took until the second exam for me to realize how much trouble I was in, and 2) it took three weeks for us to find her. Sooooo, the 3rd exam was shot and by the time the 4th exam came around, I realized that unless I got 100% on the exam I would fail anatomy. Well, apparantly the fear of failure transmitted into failure on the exam. To make a long story short, I spent the first 4 months of what should have been a wonderful realization of my long-term dream, wrapped up in total misery. :banghead: It also didn't help that I became angry at the whole world for my predicament, became cynical and other poor behavioral manifestations of my sadness and stress.

Anyhoo I am going on and on now, when what I really just wanted to say was THANK YOU. You all make my life better.

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28614 by sweetybird
:goodvibes: 's so helpful in the big picture. Yes, there are mornings, when I have to tell one of them to go change, and then have to run to the bathroom to laugh :goodvibes: But it makes my day, b/c those are the days when I'm sitting in class and have to chuckle to myself about our morning. But I'm also so proud of them. The biggest thing that changed things around and led us to this point, was taking away their super NES. They are not allowed to watch tv or play games on a regular basis. They had so many toys in their rooms that it was becoming impossible for us to clean them. So we took ALL of their toys and put them in storage. We left all the books in their room but we started at that and slowly they started to clean their own rooms. They clean them by themselves now, it's not the way I would clean it, but that's fine (it's all about letting go...to a certain extent...lol). They have accumulated some toys, but we encourage for them to read, write, draw, play games. They listen so much better since we took away their SNES. It gets hard to stick to our guns about it, b/c it's so popular (video games). Our system, means that their play time is also their homework time. We buy phonics games and play them all together. We play spelling games and such. That way things don't seem like such a chore. I know one day they will appreciate the way things were.
Oh, gosh, got off on the wrong track, I know we could all go on and on about our kids. Back to school. I went through all kinds testing. To make a long story short, I'm a visual/auditory learner, so anatomy was easy it was physiology that was the struggle for me. That's a story in itself. But my advice, is to find other ways to study anatomy. Try to make it fun as possible. I spent so much time in the lab, b/c it was the way I learned best. The first year of med school I feel is the highest hurdle. It gets better, I think it's more fun after everything starts to pull together. The program I attended gave us a book that I think is super helpful, "How to EXCEL in Medical School". I think I better end here before I wittle too much time away. Remember to give yourself credit for all of your positives, don't dwell too long on the nagatives.

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28615 by elisemomof3
Thanks so much for your input! That sounds like a very interesting program, the Medical HELP program. I entered it into google and got the following web address: www.marshall.edu/medicalhelp/ for those who might be interested in the program. I think I will look into that program further and see what I can do with it. :yes:

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28616 by Kesha
Elise,

I am very sorry to hear of your tough semester. There has been some great advice, and I'd like to add some as well. :twocents: First, I second mommd2b on looking into an extended schedule (3 years for your M1 and M2 years). It's a bummer that your school did not suggest this option to you when you began to feel like Anatomy was not going to turn out well to save you the emotional difficulty you've most likely endured. If you are planning on taking something anyway, you might consider taking one or two smaller credit classes so that next year you have a more relaxed schedule second semester. Since you passed everything else the first semester, it seems unfair for you to start over completely--could you just take Anatomy? That way you'd have more time to concentrate on that class and not have to repeat classes you're a pro at.

I know how tough times can make med school difficult. I am in my second year and considered extending earlier this semester, but for different reasons. In Oct I had a miscarriage, followed 2 weeks later my the death of my father (who was barely 50). It was and still is pretty difficult. It was pretty tough getting through classes and stuff with all of that--especially since I'd missed almost one month of classes with going back and forth to see my father (halfway across the US). Fortunately, I was able to catch up. I have several friends who have been through difficult times and have had to retake Anatomy (or other classes) over the summer or during the next school year. They all had difficult situations which made it impossible for them to pass the class (or classes). Most who had to take something over during the school year chose to extend, and are doing well and thankful for the more relaxed schedule. One, though, ended up taking the whole year over and that was the best decision for him. I share all of that with you to let you know that you're not alone in the tough time department, and that you can also make it through whatever decision you make.

You may already know of these resources, but I found them helpful when taking Anatomy. :yes:

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28617 by Laurie
Elise,
Hi. I have a similar story to share. I am a married mom who decided to return to med school. I knew it would be difficult, but my husband and I just didn't realize HOW difficult! My hubby also worked a lot of hours my first year, my daughter was only 3 and I was a basket case trying to keep up with everything. I received 2 marginals (not failing, but 2 or more means repeat the year). So, I did repeat my first year and did fine the second go around. Then last year, which should have been my second year, I took a year off and spent it with my daughter. This past fall I started up again, and my daughter is now in kindergarten. I am happy to say that my first semester went quite well, and even though it is still a struggle, our family has learned to deal with it much better. With my daughter in school, I feel less guilty being busy all day, and my husband has a new job with better hours, so I can actually study when I need to. I never dreamed that it would take me this long, or that it would be this crazy trying to get through, but slowly and surely I am making it. A couple of extra years isn't going to matter in the long run, and I got to spend extra time with my kid. So, I just wanted to tell you that it can be done, and good luck. I'm here if you ever want to chat.
Laurie

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17 years 3 weeks ago #28618 by Frau
Hi Elise,

I am 39, a divorced mom of 3 and an MS2. I struggled mightily last year, so you have my sympathies. I did not have to repeat, but my performance was less than stellar. My closest-call was in Neuro - I needed a 70 to pass the course, and I ended up with a 71.7%

I give all the credit to God and my classmates for helping me survive that year. My classmates adopted me from the very beginning - they shared notes and outlines, showed me when they had cool stuff on their cadavers, offered hugs, candy and tissues.

I was 15 years out of undergrad, and was in the middle of a divorce when I started classes. It was not the best of situations. My ex wanted half-custody, both because he is a good dad and because he wanted to help me out. It was rough, but I survived -- we lost six classmates to the repeat machine, but I wasn't one of them.

This summer is going to get interesting - the ex's company has folded and he has taken a job out of state, so he now only takes the kids on the weekends. I will have to get creative when I start clinical rotations. Fortunately, my kids are older (14, nearly 11, and 6) so self-sufficiency is the order of the day.

You CAN do this! But I agree with the poster who said that you can't be all things to all people. It is impossible, but too many women try to do it anyway -- it is the express-bus to the funny farm.

It is all about giving up control... So the house is dirty - get over it. So the kids get cheerios for supper on the night before the final - they'll live. So the sheets don't get changed for a month - no one's going to call the health dept. Letting the 6 yr old sleep in her clothes is not a mortal sin if you are too tired to fight - as long as she SLEEPS, and puts clean ones on in the morning - who cares?

Women put entirely too many expectations on themselves - they feel responsible for EVERYTHING - from lunchbags to nursing homes, from car repairs to cupcake sprinkles. YOU CANNOT use these things to measure your self-worth. Personally, I think Martha Stewart should be boiled in her own pudding for creating a myth full of unrealistic expectations. Women should read less of Martha and MORE of Erma Bombeck (God rest her soul)

Good luck, and remember the famous Bombeck-ism... "The grass is always greener over the septic tank" :hyper:

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