× Women Premed Students

Controversy on moving for undergrad

14 years 3 months ago #30198 by biohazard08
I have a bit of a controversary going on right now. I am 24 and I have a 14 month old son. I began my undergrad traditionally but I stopped after a year and a half because of an eating disorder and some family problems. I went back last year when my son was 6 months old. I have been doing very well but I fear that I have already outgrown my academic environment. I have found a program in Massachusetts (I live in Ohio) at Mount Holyoke College for non-traditional women to finish their undergrad degrees. They fulfill the same requirements as the traditional students and earn the same prestigious degrees. I have already applied and interviewed for this program and I feel that I have a very high chance of leaving in January.

My husband is finishing his BSN and he would stay here with our son while I am in school. I would be home 3 weekends a month as well as all school breaks. My husband is very supportive and he keeps telling me this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Going to this school would open up many more medical school opportunites for me. It is much better school in general, it has a stronger science program, and they have a 87% acceptance rate to med schools for their graduates. My friends, all educated, are telling me to just stay here and finish here. I feel like this is a second chance for me and I am curious what other women on the same career path think.

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14 years 3 months ago #30199 by Dental-Mom
Your friends are right.

It's not worth it at all. Stay where you are and take care of your baby. These are the best years, and be like me and bite your teeth and stay at the "bad" school. Who cares about the other school. Your baby is more perfect than anything else.

You will regret later moving and leaving your child and husband behind. A family that stays together will benefit from that for ever. There are exclusions of course, like the army, medical school rotations, ect...

Do your best at your local school. Ohio has great schools. Can you work it out in a way that when your husband graduates you guys can move together?

I rather be there for my children than follow a great career if that means leaving them behind.

Medical school will always be there. Your children are babies just once, and it goes by really fast. Take one day at the time.

I too had my first son at 24 and stoped school for a while. Now I have 2 boys 6 and 2.5 yrs old, I'm 30 and been in school for 1 year. There's no way I'll leave them to study and become a dentist.

When you die is not going to matter if you were a Dr, it will matter what kind of mother you were. Do the sacrifice and put your family first. Is not a man that you are leaving, it's a baby.

There are times for everything, and your time to leave went by already. You are a mother now. Not a single student anymore.

You are a mom and already shine above the rest. You are not the tipical 22 yr old student anymore. You know and can handle a lot, so they will love you. With good grades and MCAT scores you should have no problem getting into med school :no:

Stay together, and be close. You have a man that loves you and supports you.

I have a perfect fancy life here where I live, and my children are going to top schools. There's a dental school NOVA 20 mins from my house and if they don't accept me, we will move. I will never leave them behind. I can always find them another good school, but they can't find another mom.

I hope I don't sound mean or rude to you. Is just my 2 cents here. I don't know any more details about your life.

Take care, and be happy.

Dental mom.

Dental Mom<br />Determination: You don't know what you can do until you try.<br />Applying this summer<br />Dental school 2010!

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14 years 3 months ago #30200 by Setzer
I think that if its what you want then you should go for it. I don't have kids but I know that if you don't follow through with your dream you'll also always regret that too. How long would the program take? It would be hard but at least your husband is very supportive. Go with your gut feeling and you'll make the right choice.

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14 years 3 months ago #30201 by biohazard08
The program would take two years. My husband is very supportive and we are working out ways to see each other every weekend, or almost every weekend. my family is a huge priority for me. I am just trying to find a balance so that I can pursue my dreams and raise my family.

It may be worth mentioning that I was accepted to these schools (Smith, Mount Holyoke, and Wellesley) when I was 18. I was unable to go for financial reasons and I was absolutely devastated. I never knew this type of program existed. Thus the feeling of being given a second chance. It's a hard choice either way.

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14 years 3 months ago #30202 by Striving2succeed
I understand how you feel...I am a single parent myself who...is leaving FSU to finish @ USF...I am sure that this is the best option for me because of better major, course selection, and lack of motivation @ FSU. I also have the dilemma of taking my 3 year old son with me...or leaving him with my family...I want to take him there...but it's so expensive...there...I am willing to sacrifice because I personally want to be the one that raises him and inturn decides what type of person he will grow up to be...Some people are telling me not to take him...to leave him with my parents and just focus on school...the choice is hard...and I pray that everything will workout....but if all else goes well...he will be with me in Tampa...Basically...He is 3 and I don't want to leave him so I know it's hard for you because your child is so young...but honestly if it were me...I wouldn't want to leave my son at that age...because they grow up so fast and I wouldn't want to feel like I missed his first step or first word etc etc...If at all possible...see if the family can move once your husband graduates....but then...you have to decide what's best for you emotionally and psychologically....will you miss your family when u move away...and will it eat at you that you are so far away from your son and husband when u leave...those are things that you can't know until you get away...

Just make a list of pros and cons...in each situation....make sure though that the best interest of your family is a top priority, k

~Perpetually Striving2wardssucess!<br />Philippians 4:13<br />I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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14 years 3 months ago #30203 by PremedRN
You are going to choose to leave your baby because you "fear that you have out grown your academic environment?" You must come to terms with being a mom and while attending school having to be around the more traditional students. You need to learn to adapt to undesirable circumstances. I feel like leaving him would be your choice and not one of necessity. Since your husband is finishing his BSN already, why not wait, and if that is the school you really want to go to, then move there after he is done? What is the rush? You are still young.

If there wasn't any colleges near you, I might have had a different opinion but there is. There are many reasonable instances where a parent has to move away from his or her own child for a little while, but because you have grown out of your academic environment isn't usually one of them.

Aside from this, you just may find yourself by yourself with hubby and somebody else raising your child. I hate to be be so honest in my thoughts but that is what they are.

Good Luck in making your decision.

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