× Women Premed Students

Lack of support for career choice?

17 years 6 months ago #35894 by mommd2b
Well, I have to add here that I was really disappointed by family and friends in regards to their lack of supportiveness. After I had children, it wasn't just that they weren't supportive, but that they were very vocal about their lack of support. From my own mother, I heard things like "why don't you just go and get a job as a desk clerk at the hospital" (this after completing my MS in mol bio) :rolleyes: . One of my other friends said "kids on drugs" if I mentioned the dream and another friend accused me of only wanting to go to med school because of how it looks to others :o . I felt like screaming "is that why your husband went to medical school?"

Here is what I understand: It is OK for men to go to medical school and they don't have to have a philanthropic or caring bone in their bodies...they can be purely in it for the money...after all, they have a family to support. A woman is to be at home with her children...A lot of men will still support this view, at least privately (especially the male docs that we know) and women docs can run into big problems with nursing staff, sahm's etc. I have friends who REFUSE to see female physician...they don't feel 'comfortable' and they are WOMEN!

Honestly, I feel at peace with my decision to move away from a career in medicine for now, because of my family obligations...BUT, I feel very disappointed in many of the people who were vocally unsupportive.

Sorry for the rant...


In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

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17 years 6 months ago #35895 by NStanhope
Well My story is a bit diff, I grew up in a family where if you graduated highschool it was a miracle. My parents never really encouraged us five girls to go to school. They where from a communist country and only new hard work. So they survived with alot of common sense, not education. and i decided that i did not want to struggle so i graduated highschool when all of my sisters dropped out and got GED. and i went into college late in life at late 20's and now i'm in my 30's. But i never got the support i wanted from my family, more like they still dont think i can do it. But my husband supports me and so does my daughter. So be encouraged today because it take a special person to be a doctor that cares and not just in it for the money.

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17 years 6 months ago #35896 by Duck
This is my first time posting a reply...I must say that I am grateful to have found a safe place to believe in my dream of becoming a doctor. :)

I am separated with no children. My parents, and siblings watch me take post-bacc classes with great interest. They believe that I am preparing for nursing school. I am sure nursing school is equally challenging, but for my family it has proven to be an acceptable career move at my age (40!). So,I'm still in the I am preparing for med. school closet. ;)

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17 years 5 months ago #35897 by Tangee Fox
It's amusing how many of us are "in the closet" pre-meds :rolleyes:

Actually my husband and family are SO supportive, I think they want this at least as much as I do. I was the first one in my family to graduate from high school, the only one, so far to graduate from college and they just generally expect great things from me.

On the other hand, I haven't told my in-laws that I'm trying to get in because I'm afraid of what their reaction will be. They are great, and I like them alot, but my FIL in particular intimidates me and I just don't want to deal with pessimism. I think it will be great to sit down to dinner with them one night and casually mention, "Oh yeah, by the way, I got into "blank" med school, I start in August."

Unfortunately, we've had to be somewhat creative about not mentioning that I'm in school without outright lying. I don't want to lie to them. But this summer when we went to visit, I had to come back early because of class, and they wanted to know why I couldn't stay, and I just had to leave it at "I couldn't get this much time off." They thought I meant work, and I didn't correct them. I feel a little bad, but I'm sure they will get over it. :D

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17 years 5 months ago #35898 by brown_eyed_girl
i have been thinking about becoming an md for a while now, but never wanted to tell anyone. i finally said it out loud to a friend of mine, and it felt pretty good. he was incredibly supportive of me. of course it took a few more months and an amazing experience to get me to say it out loud again. i work in a hospital as a unit clerk and was given the opportunity to observe an organ harvest. i thought my head was going to explode i was so excited. i told my mother, who actually for the first time in my life said "good for you", and even spoke with my manager about taking advantage of the tuition reimbursement benefit at my job. i have only just started my pre-reqs, but feel good about my decision. however when i start thinking about the time committment and the financial committment the butterflies in my stomach go into overdrive. does this go away as time passes or does it get worse?

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17 years 5 months ago #35899 by Samantha101
I'm not married, however I have a large family and I am very hesitant in letting them know about my plans of becoming a doctor. I first told my sister. She laughed, mocking me by saying things like "Dr. Samantha to surgery for an emergency removal of a dumb idea!" After she had her laughs she just told me good luck (in I hope it was a sincere way).

Than I told my mom. I felt that it would be easier to talk to her first before I talk to dad. My mom is old-fashion and she thinks I should be teacher. After all, to my mom, teaching is the only female job that is receptable. She even said, "Why do you want to work in a hospital? You'll have the hospital smell on you all the time." I still don't even have her support.

Finally, I told my dad. Now he said I should do whatever makes me happy. I finally felt okay with all this, however I have not told any of my other family members which include two brothers, their wives, my anuts, uncles, the countless number of cousins. Whenever they ask me what I'm studing I say Biochemistry (which is true). Then they ask, "What in the world are you going to be doing with that degree?" I reply, "Research" because I still can't find the courage to tell them I'm working to become a doctor until I have gotten accpeted into a medical school.

Can any else relate to this? What is your story?
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