I need some advice. I matched into a program in another state, Arizona, while my husband continued to work in our home state (Colorado). We have a 5 year old son, so I would come back every weekend that I was not on call which was about 2-3 weekends. He asked me for a separation last week. Now I am struggling, as I want to change programs (or start intern year over) but am worried as it is already into interview season. I am currently in a psych program, but will do fp or IM, just so I can be in the same state. Is anyone one else going through this, or have any suggestions? My family says I need to quit and move back home, but I'm in such debt and need a source of income. Help.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear of your situation - this sounds like a real crisis point. These are huge decisions, with your few absolute priorities crashing into each other. It definitely sounds like a time to really marshal all the resources you trust. Are there a couple of well-informed and very trustworthy people at your program and/or your former medical school that you can speak (at least relatively) bluntly with to understand what your options there are and what the implications of different choices are? It may well be that your only option for changing programs this coming year is going to be going outside the match, and I don't really know how one goes about doing that. Also, do you have people in your personal life you can really talk to about the decisions you're making? Would it be a reasonable time to find a counselor of some sort (not that you even necessarily need a "therapist" per se - but more someone to help you sort this out in person, who doesn't have their own dog in the ring...)? Finally, remember that this forum is public and viewed by huge numbers of people who never post. I might want to go back and edit unnecessary identifiers if I were you - eg the exact age/sex of your child, definitely the specific states involved.
I really feel for you - what an incredibly hard thing to deal with anytime, much less as an intern.
I think that even if you don't have time to apply and get interviews you still could do SOAP (the scramble) and then if there were spots in colorado closer to your child you might be able to get one. It's a long shot, and probably not a fun thing to go through. You need to talk to your program director if possible because the rules are different than they were a few years ago about things going outside the match. I seem to think that you might still be able to get a spot outside the match if there is an open one, but only if it's an "off-cyle" spot? Not sure about that though. Good luck!!!
Why do you have to go back? Why can't your son come live with you where you are now? Are you and your husband planning to divorce? Does he want primary custody? These are some of the other questions I might ask. Are you planning to end your marriage or is it that you want to go back home to work things out? If you are trying to work things out then can your husband move to where you are now? I'm so sorry you are going through this. Knowing how tough it is to change programs I am wondering if your family is willing to move to where you are to support you instead of expecting you to move?