× Thinking of a Becoming a Doctor

need some BTDT advice

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8 years 2 months ago #80693 by livingfree
i would love to hear from some moms who have been through med school and residency. i'm 27 years old and have 3 children (almost 5 and twins that are almost 2). i'm contemplating med school but i would have to start with my bachelor's degree. i got married very young and don't have very many college credits.

i'm trying to decide if going to med school is the right choice for my family. i would like to hear about how difficult it is to balance your family/kids with med school and residency. how many hours a week are you gone? how flexible/inflexible is your schedule as a resident?

if i finished my undergrad degree in 4 years, my kids would be 9 and 6 when i started med school and then 13 and 10 when i started my residency. but even though they wouldn't be babies, i don't want to miss huge chunks of their lives. i just don't have a realistic idea of how difficult and time consuming med school and residency is. so i was hoping to hear from some moms who have done this or are currently doing this.

due to some stressful circumstances this summer, i'm not starting school this fall, i'm starting in the spring semester. so i have some time to figure out exactly what i want to do.

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8 years 2 months ago #80699 by Emily2651
You may not like this answer but my opinion is that residency, for the most part and in most specialties, is incompatible with adequate mothering. In the best circumstances, it's "doable" and may be worth it for some women/families, but it isn't good. In fact, it stinks.

Granted, right now I'm coming to terms with my present reality, which is a) residency has now trashed my third summer in a row and b) I'm honestly not terribly optimistic about life as an attending. I'm in a bitter place this week. I counted the other day and realized I have five days off in the next six weeks. Personally, I don't fInd that to be an acceptable work-life balance. Maybe you feel otherwise. I work 60-80 hours a week and my schedule is 100% inflexible. The other disappointment I'm currently nursing is that it doesn't feel like my schedule is getting easier as I progress through residency. I'm a third year resident now and six of my last eight months have been call months. Residency blows.

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea. -- Isak Dinesen

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8 years 2 months ago #80827 by livingfree
thank you emily for your honesty. i just keep struggling with this. i really want to be a doctor but i chose to have children and i can't put them on the back burner to pursue what i want, at least not without serious consideration about how this will effect their childhoods.

i'd love to hear from anyone else who has advice to offer:-)

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