× Thinking of a Becoming a Doctor

Need advice about considering med school

8 years 1 month ago - 8 years 1 month ago #81168 by jonesie
It may be that you find that helping children in the medical field and raising your daughter yourself full-time are mutually exclusive, no matter which career path you choose. From medical social worker to CNA to RN to NP to Pediatric oncologist, nearly all career paths in medicine require time away from family - if not during training, then during the medical-needs driven schedule of your chosen job (outpatient clinics aren't typically open aftere hours or on weekends, and most hospital-based jobs are shift-based and unusual/erratic hours).

Actually, many jobs outside of medicine make it hard to be a full time parent as well. Do you think you would be able to fulfill this need to help others on a volunteer basis? That would give you the flexibility you need without the commitment you can't make. I guess my point is to think about what you actually want and what options are out there that will help you fulfill it and not jeopardize your other priorities.

Good luck from a mom whose kids have been in daycare full-time since the age of six weeks and who is working the best job ever, living the dream, raising happy healthy kids who see how great it is to work hard for your dream and make it come true, and who truly is a better mom because she is a doctor too.
Last Edit: 8 years 1 month ago by .

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8 years 1 month ago #81203 by asunshine
My first career was as a nurse. I have to say that nursing can be rough, too. Sometimes I stayed hours late to finish the care of a critical patient or attend a meeting. I worked all 3 shifts, sometimes in the same week. Sometimes my patients were dying, and I felt helpless to save them. But I kept going back every day because I loved my patients and the medicine behind it. When you work any job in healthcare, you have to do it with your heart wide open, and with the willingness to do what it takes for the people under your care. There will always be that tug between your patients and your family, no matter what professional job you have in healthcare. In medicine, this is particularly true, and you are right to take your decision seriously.

Just because I didn't put my kid in day care as soon as I could get rid of her just shows that I'm a better parent that's willing to spend more time raising my child.

I get told a lot of crazy stuff in this field, but when someone presumes my children are being treated like garbage because of my chosen line of work, I take offense. Wouldn't you?

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8 years 1 month ago - 8 years 1 month ago #81204 by megboo

OpheliasWings wrote: Wow, troll, really? I think you should look in the mirror. This is exactly why my husband gives me the advice not to take anything that people on forums have to say seriously. Sounds to me like a group of broody women that have nothing better to do with their time than bash others and act like they're so much better than everyone else.

I would rather have a child that knows that her parents care about her well being rather than a juvenille delinquient that's pregnant at 13 because mommie and daddy could care less what she was doing with her life. Or a child that knows the nannie better than her own parents.

You know, you came here looking for advice. Not the other way around. Granted, it gets tiring to hear the same story over and over, and that generates some curt remarks.

Lashing out that no one really "knows" you from your limited posting while berating every one else's parenting choices doesn't really endear you to this forum and want us to help you. If the amount of time a mother spends with her child is an indicator alone of parenting skills, then by golly we wouldn't have serial killers with stay at home moms, then, would we?

Can we please get past this petty line of superiority on your part?

Now, you came here looking for advice, (and you do take it seriously, otherwise you wouldn't have come and stayed) and despite your attitude, I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell other people. My story is my own, and I know my mother's story, and you can get these other medical student and physician stories here as well.

You *can* have it all, but you *are* going to have to sacrifice, and the definition of "all" is going to change. Whether that sacrifice is time with your child or settling for a mid-level degree over a medical degree. My mother was a nurse who went to med school when I was a child (and being a med student now myself after a successful therapy career - I'd say I didn't turn into a juvenile delinquent, nor did my brother). She balanced her family and medical life, but there were costs. She wasn't as involved as she was when she was a nurse. She regrets that part, naturally, and we as kids got over it.

And now here I am in my mid 30's as an MS3, pregnant myself. Having been down that road, I know there are going to be sacrifices to make, that my kid will be in daycare when I'm not there, and sacrifices for my husband as well. But you know what? I had a damn good role model to show me how to get through it, and how to still raise a great kid, and I will. If you are serious about your life goals, you will find ways to make compromise too. If you can't, then being a mom and going into medicine isn't for you. Because there is NO black and white in this as a mother and a wife.

"Some of it's magic and some of it's tragic but I had a good life all the way."<br />- He Went to Paris by Jimmy Buffett
Last Edit: 8 years 1 month ago by .

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8 years 1 month ago #81258 by efex101
Go to nursing school. Medicine is not compatible with spend the quality time and amount of time you seem to desire. It's a no brainer IMHO.

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8 years 3 weeks ago #81350 by mommd2b
Ouch! This puppy sure spiraled out of control!

For me, the choice to ultimately not pursue medical school was NOT because I feel that daycare/nanny etc are not a perfectly acceptable and good choice. I'm a sahm who has used kidstop during summers for extra help and my kids love it. There are a lot of great things to be said for childcare facilities. It doesn't have to be negative at all.

I personally want to experience motherhood differently than someone who is currently a medical student or resident. That doesn't make me a better mom or them a worse mom. Ultimately, it's just a choice about how we want to experience these years. I don't believe that daycare is damaging in any way at all. I just like being able to pick them up from school, go to their games, chuckle through ballet practice, etc. If I wasn't there, my children wouldn't turn out any less good ... it's really a choice about what I want for me at this phase in my life.

It's unfortunate that these discussions still turn into a parenting competition!

To the OP. I think that med school doesn't sound like a reasonable option for you right now based on what you want out of motherhood right now and how much you are willing to invest in a career. That doesn't mean that med school couldn't fit later.


In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

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8 years 3 weeks ago #81378 by southernmd
Why are you spamming, Elaina? I can't believe no one has deleted your post, but clearly you are in the wrong message board. And you are annoying. That is all.

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