Well, little Leah is 2 weeks old. She's actually a pretty good baby (if you don't count last night). She really only cries when she's hungry, and she seems satisfied most of the time. She does have the most striking dark blue eyes I've ever seen (not that I'm biased or anything). And I also love not being 9 months pregnant anymore. Really really really love that part.
There are downsides of course. Breastfeeding has been far more frustrating than I anticipated. Between leaking EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME, and the nipple-biting, it can be quite a challenge. And the annoyingly large boobs. Can I please have my B-cups back? I'm also still wearing only my yoga pants since I'm pretty sure attempting to try on my pre-pregnancy jeans would just make me cry at this point.
I have several months off right now, and it's kind of nice. I do have some workshops and lectures to attend every so often, which is good, because it gets me out of the house and keeps me in touch with the medical world. I still feel like I'm going to forget a lot of medicine though.
I finally submitted my residency applications in EM. I've applied to nine programs, which I'm hoping is enough. I scored pretty well on my boards though, and my grades are decent, so I'm told it will be enough. I have an interview at my home program already, but they interview all their own medical students. My home program does want me to stay though. The residency director even stopped by my hospital room after I had Leah to chat. He wrote one of my LOR's too, so I'm pretty sure I'd have a spot here if I decide I want it. :goodvibes: I wouldn't mind staying, but I'll check out some of the other programs first.
Kind of scary that this time next year I'll be a Doctor! Then I truly will be a MomMD.
As I was reading the undergrad student newspaper today, the following ads caught my eye:
Ad 1: Playboy is coming to campus! Playboy is looking for Ohio State Coeds to appear in the Magazine's May 2008 "Girls of the Big Ten" pictorial.
Ad 2: Tuition Assistance available. Financially generous executive seeks attractive, uninhibited F for mutually rewarding no strings attached long-term relationship
Ad 3: Female student needed for video work. Open-minded a must. $100/hr
Ad 4: Female Dancers. Upscale Genlemen's club looking for slim attractive females. No experience necessary. Earn school money, flexible hours.
Ugh ugh and ugh. Is it really getting to the point where your options for paying for college are 1) come from an upper-middle-class family, 2) Go into debt up to your eyeballs, or 3) Sell your body for money? Is this the kind of world I want my daughter growing up in? As someone who thought egg "donation" was a kind of tempting idea (around $15000 for a female with a degree and high SAT scores), I understand the allure of giving into these ideas. Especially since your alternatives are work-study ($8/hour), wait tables ($10-$12/hr), babysit ($10-15) or manual labor ($15). There has to be a better way to fix our skyrocketing tuition problem. :no: Personally, I chose (2), the debt up to my eyeballs option.
I've been cleared by my doc for exercise now, so I've just started this week. Goal: twenty pounds need to go. It's amazing how out of shape I am! I guess when you don't do crunches for nine months, and during the last few months, you can't even use your abs to sit up normally, they get a little atrophied. I tried to do crunches yesterday for the first time and managed about 15 before I decided I was going to die. Shameful. Baby steps I guess.
I'm taking Step 2 CS in Houston next week. I know this is supposed to be a high pass rate test, but I'm sure I'll do something stupid like forget to wash my hands every single time. I also will have to see if the test center is going to let me pump with minimal hassle. Baby daughter and I will be flying down to Austin for the week to see my father. It will be her first plane flight--wish me luck!
Took Step 2 CS (what an incredible waste of money and time!)with minimal hassle. Baby girl behaved herself on the plane.
Yesterday I pumped milk parked at a McDonald's, standing up in a restroom in a hospital, in a parking lot in downtown Cleveland, and while driving in the dark on my way home. My CD player in the car also quit working right about the time when the only radio stations I could get were either playing hardcore country music or christmas carols.
My readers have likely guessed that interview season has started. Yesterday I interviewed at the Cleveland Clinic/MetroHealth program, tomorrow I interview at my home program, and on Friday, I interview at U of Indiana in Indianapolis. Busy week! I applied to 9 programs and was offered interviews at 8 (sour grapes--I didn't want to go to UNC anyways ) After carefully avoiding the issue all morning, and discreetely trying to find out family friendliness, I had a fellow applicant ask me loudly at a table full of residents yesterday if I had any children. :banghead: After a few seconds of deer-in-the-headlights panic, I told the truth, but I was seriously annoyed at him.
On the other hand, I had a great time at the Cleveland program and was favorably impressed, so I figure that's a great way to start out the season. :cool:
Yesterday I left baby girl with my mom, and they had a great time. Tomorrow, I'm leaving baby girl with DH's slightly ditzy aunt (she has a teacup yorkie named Zsa Zsa, and a slight obsession with designer handbags). She did raise two kids of her own though, so I'm pretty sure she and baby girl will survive the day.
I have a raging case of Senioritis. My attitude has defninitely entered the P = MD stages. Which is fine, because programs won't see these last few grades until after I match. Although, the clinics that I'm in this month seem to really like me. I think they're not used to having fourth years, so they're easily impressed.
Graduate....in June....They're going to let me be a doctor. (Which is good, because this student thing really getting old.) I'm going to trip all over my own tongue the first 100 times I have to introduce myself as "Doctor." The idea of not being in school anymore after 20 years (21 if you count kindergarten) is incredibly appealing and terrifying at the same time.
DH is applying for a robotics program at one of the places I am interviewing. He really really likes this program, but we won't know if he got in until March, and I need to submit my rank list in February. Sigh. We're hoping that a tactful phone call will give us the information we need. :crossfingers: Almost makes me wish I was couples matching.
Remember Ditzy Aunt from my last post? Well, she called us out of the blue one day and said she'd like to take care of Baby Girl for us after the first of the year. Interesting, because earlier when I was pregnant she had offered to be the backup babysitter but made it clear that she did not wish to be asked to be the primary caregiver. She's not going to do it for 8 hours a day, more like 6, and maybe not five days a week, but it will be enough so that DH can get stuff done. We're paying her, although not as much as I'd pay a nanny or a daycare. It's still going to be a money stretch, but it's much better to pay her than to tread all over her goodwill and create a bad situation.
I almost forgot..DH got funding! Yeah! That means he doesn't have to be a TA anymore and spend many hours a week teaching labs and grading. This gives him a MUCH more flexible schedule, which is why the childcare arrangements above are going to work out ok.
I'm going to New York City for new years with DH and Baby Girl and MIL and SIL. We're going to go to times square and spectate. Look for me on TV with stupid 2008 glasses on. :cool:
Baby girl is 4 months old now. I do enjoy taking care of her, but I am actually really relieved that I enjoy the time away from her as well. You hear everyone tell you things like "you'll hate leaving your kids" or "having kids just changes your entire life and priorities and you won't want to do anything other than stare at their precious little faces." I was actually kind of scared that I would be like that and abandon my life plan. Guess what? I still like medicine, and staying all day with someone who can't talk does get old.
Interesting how trends in culture affect you, even when you don't think they apply to you. I never saw myself as needing to fulfill gender roles, but I feel guilty for not wanting to be a SAHM. :guilty: I feel like the prevailing wisdom about motherhood is that if you do work, you shouldn't enjoy it. Rather, you should see it as some sort of sacrifice and should spend most of your time in guilt wishing you could be at home with your munchkin. The fact that I still really like being at the hospital, and don't feel bad leaving Leah home makes me me feel like I have some sort of dirty secret that I can't share with other mothers for fear of betraying the blackness of my heart. :crossfingers:
Well, I'm off to Pitsburgh. They're going to let me be an ER doc! Really they are! I cried when I got my envelope. Some people thought I was upset, but I was just really really pleased. It's my first-choice program, so I'm just thrilled. It was hard to be so happy when there were classmates of mine that matched at places they didn't really love, or even into their second choice specialty.
I'll write more later, I've just been so busy lately that you all must have thought I fell off the face of the planet, and I wanted to let you know where I matched. Hugs to all the ladies here that matched yesterday!