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Class 2008, Married, Intermittent baby fever...

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13 years 1 week ago #68592 by crabbygirl
Ovulation Prediction Kits
I am the proud owner of three of these kits now s/p a shopping trip to Target. The plan is to use one this month to see if I am ovulating, as I just stopped the OCP on Sunday. Then next month, I will test every 12 hours to determine when to TTC.

I sort of feel like I am in a dream. How did I get to this place of wanting to have a baby? Is my husband REALLY as into this as he seems? Should I really even be thinking about this at all?

Mom Hospital Update
My mom gets to leave the hospital tomorrow for sure. I hope all goes well with her staying with us. My dad dropped by unexpectedly today and said some really disrespectful and rude things to me. His negative presence has affected my husband and I a great deal. He made it to the hospital before my husband and I, and it was clear he had told his side of the story to my mom. On the phone later, she sounded weird to me. I hope she doesnt bring problems into our home.
My husband and I are peaceful, and we mind our own business. We don't yell and scream at each other. There are unspoken rules about how we expect to be treated.
My family, however, has a real problem with mouthing off. They have no boundaries at all. There is constant bickering and negativity. It's not good.

I have turned my life upside down to take care of my mom through this situation. I have been at the hospital every day for weeks taking care of her, giving her baths, just standing there when she was unable to stay awake or communicate. I am taking her into our house to care for her and drive her to rehab until we are sure she can be home alone when my dad is at work.
I don't regret it, and I would do it all again,
but my father has been so difficult to get along with this entire time. He doesn't appreciate my efforts, and he criticizes everything I do, as if I am not doing enough. I am sick of dealing with it.

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13 years 1 week ago #68593 by crabbygirl
Scared
Tonight the fear hit me head on. I am terrified about having a baby. All of this baby talk has me so scared.
Did you SEE Grey's Anatomy tonight - with the delivery of the dead baby? Oh my gosh, could they put anything more terrible???

Out of the Hospital
My mom is out of the hospital - woohooo!
And now she is at my house, which is weird b/c she is in my office, so "my space" is invaded. I have no retreat. My brother, his gf, and my dad came over to eat pizza and cake. We had a good time.
My mom wishes she could go home, I dont blame her - it has been one month and one week since she has been to her own home.

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13 years 1 week ago #68594 by crabbygirl
We took my mom to eat lunch today - it was her first outing in a long time. She did well, but was tired afterward. I can feel people looking at the hairless part of her head. The home health nurse came today - my mom will get to do all of her outpatient therapy here at my house, which is convenient. We opted out of speech therapy, which she does not even need.

I took a long nap this afternoon. I do not know if I am coming down with a cold or what, but I have had a terrible headache for a few days.

It is so strange - this whole baby thing - sometimes it makes such perfect sense, and other times I am so scared. I wonder if this is normal...

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13 years 1 week ago #68595 by crabbygirl
Stress

I miss school. I cannot believe I said it. I want things to return to "normal." Having my mom here stresses me out - my husband and I are so used to it just being the two of us. Now we have a guest, and it is driving me crazy. I feel like I cannot spend time with my husband with a third wheel here.

I went to the student mental health clinic today because I needed a refill on my anti-depressant. I talked to the doctor about thinking of getting pregnant. I am scared of having a relapse of depression while pregnant or after the baby is born. I have had a "bad feeling" about this whole pregnancy thing for the past 2-3 days. I don't know if it is because of all the stress of my mom's accident coupled with her staying here. I just have not had a free day to myself. It is driving me crazy.

I just want to cry. I do not know what to do. I feel like I will miss my opportunity to have a baby if we don't do it soon...but realistically we could have one later, though I would not be able to take as much time off.

I need a vacation.

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13 years 1 week ago #68596 by Azgirl
Dear crabby girl... you seem to be in the same dilema as i am. Except I am only a sophmore in college, i know i want to have a family someday, but when to start! :boggled: I also don't want to put my child in day care until they are at least 1. let me know if you found a solution to your problem, or if you have any advice for me.

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13 years 1 week ago #68597 by Azgirl
OH by the way i want to be a pediatrician

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