So here is my story. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a Doctor. I will never forget my 2nd year in high school where my guidence counselor told me I could not be one. I took some silly computer test that he concluded said, I was not doctor material. He said the best thing for me was to become a nursing aid. Yes a NURSING AID!!! I felt so hurt and never spoke to him again. Did I mention I was the 1st to graduate high school (twin brother too) in my entire family. I come from South America so no one in my family knew of the school system stuff. Emberrassed to say but I had no idea I had to take the SAT. A month before graduation I took it and did really bad.
I ended up going to a private college because I found out they didn't require SAT scores. Well when I finished my two yrs and graduated with an Associates of Art. I transfered to a big university where they only took 2 classes from my two year college. I was devestated to start 4yrs all over again. But still had my mind set on going to med school. I started out majoring in Biology. Had my schedule made and all.
At the time I was working at the mall where I met a women who's husband was a doctor. She would tell me all these horrible stories of how he never saw his kids and blah blah blah.. At the time I was 20 yrs old and it scared me to death. I immediately changed my major to NURSING. I had no idea what nurses did and thought I would learn alot of medical stuff. Oh boy, was I in for it. Nursing school is no joke. I worked my behind off. Still my last semester before graduating I didn't feel this was me. I wanted to diagnose and do treatments and all the stuff doctors do. I had convice myself that I would do Nurse Practitioner since they diagnose and do a lot of similar stuff.
I got married my Junior yr in nursing school and a month after graduating while taking the board I was pregnant. I had planned it that way. I worked for the 1st 9mos and then left on maternity leave for 6mos. I went back to finish 3mos to complete 1yr. I wanted this full year to show in my resume. That I worked in a medical surgical/orthopedic floor so when I persue NP program they could see I had at least a year experience. It has been 3yrs now since I left work and was looking into NP programs in my area. I even looked at the PA programs which look great too! I have always wanted to do more sicence than what NP school can give me. I also want to dissect a cadaver. I know it sounds freaky but is one of my goals in life to actually do it. But I gave it up because a yr later after having my first child I had a second. I am so attached to them that I couldn't think of ever going to MS. I had decided to give up on it.
Everything I did for the next two yrs was drive my husband crazy about how I want to take science classes. On my 28th B-Day I got the courage and called a Universtity to ask about their premed program. The guy heard my son in the back and said "oh you have kids?, MS is very hard and you should think about what you are going to do". I was so mad and told him that I also have a 1yr-old sleeping upstairs. Then I thought who am I kidding. What am I doing ? I gave it up again.
Now a year later I was going to apply to a NP school but after reading TEXAS..... blog I realize I have been cranky to my husband and kids lately because I don't feel complete. I thought if I focused on my husband and kids I would be happy and forget about MS. But I love school. My husband says I could be a proffesional student. I said I love shool not that I am great at it. But that hasn't stopped me before. I have come so far with my high school yrs to now.
Last semester I took and A&P class that I am actually finishing next week for fun. Well I guess in the back of my head I was trying to increase my GPA to see if maybe I could get into PA school. I know I sound like such a mess! I have been so confused as to what to do with myself. But now at 29 yrs-old I have decided to go for my dream. If I don't get into a MS then at least I could die happy knowing I tried. My husband actually told me that. He said I need to stop talking about how I wish I went and just do it.
So here I am 29 yr-old a mom of two wonderful boys and a great husband. I would have to do lots of prereq. and I am a bit confused to how to start my journey. :boggled:
I have told my mom on my decision but she thinks is not fair to have others raise my kids. I just don't get it. I am raising my kids now. I will always raise my kids. Other friends that I have brought the subject up to have been negative with it because I am a mom. I have been feeling so scared now to tell anyone. I secreatly told the chiropractic assitant today and she was so supportive. She told me not to listen to anyone. I am scared to tell people because I think what if I don't make it? I shouldn't say that. Maybe if I tell people It will feel more real. I don't know I am confused. But what I do know is I am going to give it my all and see what happens.
Oh I forgot to mention. I talked to my A&P proffesor and he told me that I was definetly Medical school material :hyper: This was last week. He made my day. For ever I have been told I don't have the brains to do it. But he says I can do it. I am doing really well in his class. I am getting a n A. I have never felt so good that I feel I am ready for what is to come.
Today I get an e-mail from a premed advisor telling me I should retake General Chemistry that I took in 2000. I am feeling bumbed out. It would mean an entire year of something I took before. He didn't sound very friendly at all. I spoke to him over the phone and he was so quick to hang up on me and told me to just look on his website. Well I still have tons of questions. So now I am going to look for other premed advisors.
Hi, I just read what you wrote and can relate to your dilemma. I've been in pharmaceutical and surgical implant sales for 10 years...started straight out of college. I graduated in 97 with a biology degree; starting in college, I thought med school, but got too busy having fun with my friends & lost focus. Unfortunately, I graduated with a 2.8. I had no idea how much that would haunt me. Over the last 10 years, I've pretty much hated my job and finally decided a few years ago to focus on med school. I am married with a 2 year old son and want to have at least one more. I applied for 08 admission and was put on the alternate list; so, I was gearing up to take the mcat again (to try for 09 admission) and had a few conversations with a couple of physicians (through work) that's really stuck with me. Mind you, I have talked to docs over the course of my career and been able to ask all kinds of questions. 80% discourage me. I ignored it and chose to listen to the 20%. For whatever reason, these two docs really got to me. One, a double specialist (OB/GYN-Psych), sat with me for over an hour and laid it all out. From what it could do to my marriage, to the details about everyday life for him and his partners, to how it could effect my role as a mother and the financial burden I would undertake. The other doc (urologist) went to school for 10 years (MS/residency) and basically sees his kids very little. Both were advocating CRNA, NP, or PA. As for the big picture, they said being a doc just isn't worth it. It's been difficult for me, but bottom line, my family is more important than anything & I don't want to miss out on great times with my little one. Anyway, I wanted to give feedback that your not alone in this! Good luck!!
Finished my Anatomy and physiology class on Thursday and just found out I got a 98% on the final and an A for the class. It feels so good to get an A+.
My husband read my blog and told me that you guys are probably laughing at my grammar. English is my second language and I know that is not an excuse but I have such a hard time writing. In school I never did good in writing papers. In nursing school I would cry just to get a paragragh going. I know I need to change this and I will. I am going to find someone to help me with my grammar skills. I realize he is right and it needs to change. I admit I have learn vocabulary from my childrens books . (LOL).
Like I mentioned before I have a twin brother who I don't talk to much. I miss him alot because I am alone in my life. I wrote him a very emotional e-mail because he lives with my mom and I wanted to know that she will be taken care of if I was to ever move. It was the greatest feeling in the world when I read his reply and he was so supportive on my decision on becoming a doctor. I read the first three lines of his reply and burst into tears. I think this will be the beginning of a sibling relationship that we never had.
As for my journey, I contancted another school and they will send me info on their pre-med classes. That is where I am at. Hopefully next post I can write about finally talking with someone and planing out my schedule.
Still waiting for another Med School to send me their info. But what I wanted to write was something my older son said to me.
Keep in mind he is 3 y/o. I told him the other day that mami had decided to become a doctor. He stared at me because the only two doctors he know are his pedi and dentist. Then he gave me this cute smile and said "OH my gosh mami, me too!" It was the most precious thing ever. He continued to say, "I am going to be a doctor too, and brother too. All of us mami". I love it! :cloud9:
So I finally got the info from one of the University near by and it all looked so confusing. How frustrating.
Well, I met with a premed advisor today at the university where I graduated in 2004. He was really nice but could not stop saying that I needed to take baby steps because I have kids. H told me I didn't have to do any volunteer work or research because the medical school will know I had no time because I am a mom.
I actually do want to do volunteer to get myself out in the community again. When I was in High school I volunteered at a homeless shelter and helped out take the kids out to the park so the parents had time to hunt for jobs. I had so much fun doing it and would love to continue to help people out.
I thought that if I have no volunteer or research that my application wouldn't look competative at all!
I also called up this Dr who use to be a nurse to chat about her transition but her receptionist was rude and would not let me leave a message. She said " if you want to contact her you have to fax her to get her attention". I said " ok what is the # and what is your name?" She paused and then told me her name. I am tired of people being rude. I won't tolerate it anymore.
I also called the director of admission at the Medical school I would like to attend but I just ended up leaving a message in his voice mail hope to hear from him. I just wanted to ask him directly about the volunteer and reaserch stuff that advisor told me about.
So after walking around campus it brought me back to my school yrs. WOW how I miss a big university feel. the A&P class I just finished was at a community college and the feel of a university is so different. Is like a huge city! I ended up making phone calls in the car since is hars making them at home cause of the kids screaming in the background. Then took the kids to the park and walked along the water. They loved it so much.
Well now i have to cook so hopefully next post I have more plans toward my goal.