After reading everyone's blog, I've finally decided to start my own. I really hope I will be able to keep this up. So let's begin with a brief introduction.
I completed my undergrad in 2002. I majored in biology as a pre-med student. I expected to be completing my MD degree this year. Instead I am just about to start first year in 2 months. Life throws everyone curves and turns but it is up to every individual to persevere and stay the course. God has blessed me with a loving and supportive husband of 3 years who has given me two adorable children (a 2yr old handsome little guy and a precious little 1 month old girl). I have completed a Masters along the way and have learned many lessons.
In my quest for my passion (MD), I have worked extensively in healthcare(clinical and academic) and have looked into other healthcare professions (to the extent of interviewing for and garnering acceptances from elite PA and nursing programs). I have been discouraged by well-meaning friends and family. But I knew my dream had not been defered.
You see, I am one of those people who have always known that medicine is their call. Medicine is indeed my calling and I have never thought of doing anything else except being a preacher/singer. Medical missions have been my passion since I was a child. You see, I grew up in a developing country with healthcare inadequacies due to economic factors. I have seen my parents open up their hearts, home and check books to help the less fortunate on countless occassions. I have witnessed poverty and sufferring firsthand and there is nothing satisfying to me than helping alleviate them.
I know med school will be extremely challenging especially with a family. Others have done, why can't I do the same?
Not much has been happening around here. I am home alone with the babies. I am anxiously awaiting my fin aid award letter. I am not looking forward to the loans but...
Anyway, I really have to find a way to get my little one to take the bottle. She used to take it but for the past couple of weeks, she's been refusing it. School starts in a month so the earlier she learns to eat from the bottle the better.
I guess I have nothing interesting to say today. This diary is so boring huh? I've never kept a diary so this is my first. I am still not used to putting all my feelings down. We'll see..
I don't know why, but I feel like I made a mistake in my choosing to go MD instead of DO. I've always loved the DO philosophy and that's the way I wanted to go.I was accepted to both DO and MD schools and I chose MD. I loved the DO school I was accepted to but I made my choice simply based on proximity to family. The DO school is in another city but in the same state. The MD school, on the other hand, is just a 20 minute drive from my house.
My husband was not prepared to move right away. I would have to move with the two babies (an infant and toddler)to the other city. I would have to find a live-in nanny. My husband would try to visit every weekend -which is impossible for his profession. In the long run,I would be more stressed out than anything so I chose to the school closer to me.
This school I chose is great. It's just that I felt like the DO school was small and more like a family not to mention their holistic philosophy
But... Why am I running to conclusions when school hasn't started. Hmmm. I actually feel better after writing down the reasons why I ended up staying here: FAMILY. Yes, Family. I chose to keep my family together. Moving to another city would have put a lot of strain on myself, my husband and kids. Staying home, I'll have my husband, my #1 supporter close by, I'll have family and friends to keep the kids when necessary. Yeah, I made the right choice.
And... Who said an MD couldn't practice holistic patient care? Plus I've heard some MDs actually do DO internships/fellowships in OMT. We'll see...
Writing one's feelings is truly carthartic. I should do this more often. I feel so much better now.
An aside- Financial Aid: I don't want to take out a lot of loans. Dh says it's ok and that we'll pay it off. Both dh and I hate debt but we have no choice. Loans it is. I am just being careful about not borrowing more than I need.
It's getting closer and closer... I mean the first day of MS1. I am anxious, excited, scared. What have I got myself into? So many questions are going through my mind right now. Will I be able to do well in school and still have time for my dh and babies? Or will I spend so much time with family that my studies will suffer. I dread coming to a messy home during exam block because I know I will not be able to study until every toy is picked up, dishes are done and a hot meal prepared.DH is capable of holding down the fort but I don't know if he'll be able to do it for 4 years without complaining. He is more excited about med school more than I am but everyone says that he does not know what he's getting himself into.
God please give me peace because right now, I am not at ease. I feel so bad leaving my infant at home almost 24/7. Why can't women have it all: family and career?
Wow, it has been ages since I wrote something in this blog.
Here I am again after 3 years. I am now a 4th year,wife, now a mother of 3 getting antsy about applications and board exams. My family is doing GREAT! We've survived countless storms. I have had days that I just wanted to throw in the towel! In allthis, I have persevered with the Good Lord above, my husband and family on my side!
I am glad to say that I did not fail or have to remediate any classes. I have done well in my clerkships to the amazement of myself and even classmate. When I am asked how I have made it this far with 3 little ones and a hubby,I say that it is only by the GRACE of God.
Now I have to apply for residency programs. This is so scary to me. I have a personal statement to write and a CV to compile. I feel so inadequate. I do not have many volunteer activities because I spent time with my family whenever I was not studying. Will residency programs frown upon this? I am worried of match day already. "What if I don't match?" I tell myself. My family and I will would like to stay in our current city or state and do not want to move. It feels like applying to medical school all over again.
Well, all is well. This too shall pass.
Now, back to my studies. I will write more about my 3rd year experiences.