Well I had a meltdown today. I'm leaving on Sunday to interview and I just got so upset over the thought of leaving plump I just had to let it out - so I cried :yes:
Well, that aside, things have been ok. Plump is doing wonderfully and shes learning to do things like pull herself up and she imitates my sounds! Her grandparents can't WAIT to see her! It will be lovely to be in the nice warm weather too.
Oh, did I tell you ladies I finished my obgyn exam? I think I passed! I prayed and prayed before the exam and left it up to God - so I'm really hoping things will work out, I'd hate to have to take that monster again
So thats basically all that is going on = not much else to talk about so I I'll close here.
Have a wonderful night ladies and thanks for reading
I just read Kris' diary and am totally bummed - especially since I'm having so many problems with my hubby that I feel like my problems are petty compared to what she is going through. I keep looking at my beautiful daughter and cringing at the thought of not being there for her - or worse, wondering who would raise her, would they be good to her, would they hurt her, etc etc - how absolutely terrifying the entire experience would be.
When I travel to my interviews on the plane I get very afraid and think its going to crash a lot of the time - I think omg, who will watch the baby, where will she end up, will she remember me? I can only imagine how scary it is for Kris.
This whole thing sucks - I don't even want to write anything right now.
Sorry this post isn't that great - but I'm pretty bummed right now, will right more later after I pray for Kris and her family. :guilty:
Well I've been checking to see how Kris is doing but it seems no one has heard from her - I really hope she is alright. I keep saying prayers for her, hopefully during this time of year, the time of miracles, something good will come of all this.
My hubby and I are getting along alright. We've agreed to separate but still be together and then work on our marriage later. Right now I have too much going on with interviews and what not, and we really haven't been able to nurture our relationship since the baby. We both are still friendly and get along much better since we are "in separate rooms" and not expecting anything from eachother. So perhaps once we do the move and I start residency things will get on a more normal schedule.
Plump is wonderful but boy did she make me fat. I've gone from an 6/8 pre-pregnancy to a 14 post pregnancy - and gaining I'm totally not liking this. I can't fit any clothes and I keep spending more and more money just to get clothes that fit me for the week. :goodvibes: I love her pediatrician.
We didn't get much done for the holiday because I was going to be leaving for another interview next week, but I decided to cancel it - I've picked my number one which I will disclose at a later date and I'm happy to report that I have had very positive feedback so I'm planning on going there. i.e. Althought the match hasn't actually occured, I'm putting my house on the market and getting ready for the move (Ofcourse there is a contingency clause and what not JUST IN CASE the match doesn't go as planned)
ARRGGhHh, I must have ate too many chocolate chip cookies since my stomach hurts really bad.
I will close here and bid you all goodnight.
Please take care and pray for Kris.
Thanks for reading Ladies and I hope you have a great holiday
Well I'm relieved to have read something from Kris, my prayers have been with her as usual - and for all you ladies. My little online family I have here
I surprised my family for xmas by showing up at 11:30p with the baby! They were so surprised since they thought they wouldn't be seeing us again until April. It was lovely, and what I hadn't realized is that it was the first time my father had all his kids together - ever, for xmas.
My grandmother (plump's great grandma) is 92 y.o. and shes a wonder in herself. Shes been my inspiration for everything. I think of her when I read Kris' diary as she overcame cancer when she was 70. She had a malignant melanoma and they gave her 6 mos to live. She battled it with all her might and won - she's had to endure so much in her life. Her husband died of CAD and a massive MI at 48. My dad took over the family at that point. He's an amazing man too, probably because he was raised by my grandmother.
I still to this day don't know how he managed to keep himself together after his father's death. He found him and had to give him CPR when he was only 16 y.o. The strength in my family is mind numbing - I think I inherited it and I'm so thankful for that. It seems like so many families have to overcome so many tragedies, and we do it - one tragedy at a time. We deal with all this pain and suffering and from it we grow, and get stronger - yet it somehow always manifests itself in some way doesn't it. I guess we can never really escape the effects of any trauma - but we try. What more can we really do.
I'm starting to freak out that I've forgotten all my medicine and only know how to philosophize now - I think a lot, but I can't remember half the stuff I should as a doc. I really hope this info starts to come back when I get back into rotations. Its frightening to think that I won't remember basic medicine when I'm practicing - maybe I should spend more time reading my medical texts while I'm off - but who in their right mind would want to do that? yuck.
I have to get ready for surgery - my advanced clerkship starts in February, plus I have that step 2 cs to take. After that is Neurology but I'm not as worried about that (maybe I should be?) as I am about remembering all the anatomy that I need to... Oh I don't want to talk about it, its overwhelming.
Lets go back to my family - sorry for the side track. So, my father became the man of the house at 16. I would have loved to have met a guy like my dad but I spent most of my time defying him when I was growing up - I think I had a lot of resentment over, well, everything. My grandmother was my mother figure as well. Watching her grow old is painful and difficult. I see her getting thinner and thinner and I see her appetite declining at a rapid pace. She's losing weight, and I see her spirit getting tired - it scares the hell out of me. I'm too young to lose my mother figure. Plus, shes the matriarch in the family and I don't know what the family is going to be like without her.
Shes so frail now - but her mind is sharp as a whip - you should see her with my daughter, shes the only one that Plump will fall asleep on readily - she just drifts off into never never land - so peaceful. I think babies have an intuition about that sort of thing.
I was very glad to have another holiday with my grandmother and Plump that I caught on video. I'm realizing more and more just how mortal we all are and its scaring me. I have this new thing where I need to have all of the moments captured on video tape - to savor each and every one of them since they're so fleeting.
well, I think I've written a book here tonight. I guess I'll close here - I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and that you have plenty to be thankful for this holiday season.
Please say an extra prayer for Kris - I konw I will