× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

Life-a roller coaster.

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13 years 4 months ago #69898 by Strive
hey all, I am new member and i would like to share something that has been bothering me for a while. I am currently doing residency in Internal medicine as intern.I finished med school 2 yrs ago and then took a break to take care of my child. Now I am back and nothing seems to feel ok. I had a bad experience with an upperlevel last month. She crushed my confidence and would run to the attending to complain about small things instead of discussing with me. Well the month was horrible and I couldnt wait for it to end. I stil cry sometimes because of how rude and humiliating she was at times. I look around and some of the very ppl I helped during the whole Match process seem to be getting gr8 evaluations . I am sure she and the attending screwed me up. I feel so tensed and worry if I ever will be a upperlevel. I worked hard and I know I am intelligent but I am not really street smart. I am kinda shy n quite and ppl take me on a ride for that. I am such a emotinal person that her remarks n attending's rmarks hurt me so much tht I feel scared now of the whole process of residency. If any of u can help me with it, I would greatly appreciate it.

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13 years 3 months ago #69899 by Strive
hey All, I dropped by to write a few lines. I turned 29 today...i have a life anyyone would love to have but still I dont feel happy. Dont know if its me or is it my situation. I am trying so hard to balance so many things tht i have lost the love for life...I am always stressed. My biggest fear is not having enuf money for my kids...I have been humilated in life just because my family isnt rich. the part of world i come from money means everything so I told myself I will be something in life but now I feel so overwhelmed by the responsilbilities on me. My DH is a nice guy who doesnt want to do any chores...n whatever he does he thinks is a big deal. I got a kid and it me who is doing 99% things for her. I love her but i feel so tired after putting in 12-14hrs a day doing internship...I am exhausted. now all this is killing me mentally. I feel so low...today I turned 29 and I still have no control over my life..

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