× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

My journey to be...anything...DO hopefully?

13 years 10 months ago #70201 by dnw826
Hello girls. I am 22 and a mother of 3. I come from a very poor family. My mother is a drug addict currently in jail. What a way to start a story, right? Anyways, growing up everywhere I looked was despair. Even graduating high school was amazing where I was. Growing up, my mother had high hopes that I would be "better" than the rest of the family. I have to admit that I am pretty smart at some things, I have alwasys excelled. Unfortunately, my A's weren't good enough for my mom, so I gave up at school.

When I got pregnant with my dd at age 16, it turned my life around. I realized how lucky I became and that I did have a reason to succeed: for my baby. I was in a program at school where we took CNA classes at the hospital in exchange for college credit and a chance to get out of PE. :wave:

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13 years 10 months ago #70202 by dnw826
Today is already a bad day. I balanced the checkbook. That's quite unnerving.

I am still on my hunt to find somewhere to move. Anywhere but here is my top choice. I hat moving. Almost all of our moving money that we had saved we had to spend on things that popped up with the car and traveling to see family. It would be nice to have a job where I don't have to worry as much about whether we'll have the money to eat this week. Everyone is talking about how doctors don't make that much money and how you work forever to get out of $100000 worth of debt by the time you're out of school. So that isn't making me look forward to it! I have enough debt as it is!

There is a German girl in my Chemistry class right now. She is going back after this summer to go to a University there. Their medical school, as well as all of their schooling, is free, she said. Wouldn't that be nice? She says sometimes you have to wait and it is pretty competitive, but she is a pretty average student and she got in. She is only 18 or 19 and it is a 6 year program for your "MD". Same with UK, I hear. 6 year med program, right? Not 8 year like in the US. It just feels like this is taking forever and I am not even in med school yet. :crossfingers:

Every day I keep having these thoughts about just doing my BSN. It would take 3 years at any of the colleges I have found so far once I get into the program. At that rate, I might as well be almost halfway through med school. I could pay off my debt sooner, and there are beaucoup jobs. I just don't want to be stuck in a job I hate all my life. KWIM? Because I know that I have enough debt that once I started working with my RN, I'd never get to go back to school for my DO. Pretty depressing.

I think that it is quite hypocritical for men, too. Everyone is always pushing men to go on and be more. My dh's family is always trying to get him to go to school to get his PhD, Pharmacy license, whatever. Because men deserve it, right? When I have better grades and I WANT to go to DO/MD school and people just roll their eyes because I am a mother and a wife. That's not my place, right? I also don't think it's fair that my dh shoves me into nursing so that I can make money but he wants to work in a job that pays less than his sister's boyfriend (who is 19 with a high school diploma) makes at a factory. Heck, her boyfriend makes more than new nurses make somehow. Makes you wonder why they push people to get educations and then pay people without even better, right? It just ticks me off that dh can work in his "dream job" even though he hates it, gets paid pennies, and whines about how much he hates it all day every day, while I am pushed away from a job I want. :censored:

Well that is my rant for the day. I needed to get that out.

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13 years 10 months ago #70203 by dnw826
I applied to another school last night to finish my Bachelor's. Hopefully I get in. This is the 4th I have applied to for this coming school year. My dh got a job offer in the town this college is in. The crime is a bit high for me (I'm a country girl), and there isn't a DO school around. But they do have a good medical school, and a good undergrad French or Anthropology major for me. Whatever gets me done the fastest! They also offer Organic and Physics this summer, so I could get the rest of my pre-reqs done quickly to apply this fall and get in sooner than at some of the other schools.

Now if I get in, I have to decide what exactly to take for my major. Can you tell I ignore counselors at all costs? I want to do French, but I am unsure of what will transfer. If I have to start at a lower level for some reason, I don't want to have to spend 3 years getting my degree. So I may do anthropology. I love anthropology, but I love French. I want to take some German, too. I am in a conversational German class and I really enjoy it. I just really love languages! And hopefully it will help for when I become a doctor!

Which reminds me, I haven't exactly told dh that I am going to be applying to med schools next year or so. I think that he may have caught the drift since I have narrowed down everywhere we can move by those places by a university offering a med school. ;)

On another, off handed note...
We seem to have a porn problem in my house. Now, I am quite liberal, but I don't want porn on my computer! Everytime I find it on here (I am assuming you can tell it's not MY doing :rolleyes: ), there are also a ton of viruses with it. Hello! Don't do it! I am the one that has to fix it and my online class depends on my access to this computer! It really ticks me off. Not only that, but then there is the self esteem issue. I know it is a man thing (and a woman thing, too for some, I guess), but it makes me feel like some nasty wretch. All those blonde well endowed "perfect" women up against...me? :boggled:

So I got the Cybersitter thing for the computer so that the virus damage will (HOPEFULLY!) be further prevented! What a surprise next time he uses the computer. :rotfl:

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13 years 10 months ago #70204 by dnw826
I am a horrible busy body. I mean, I can NOT sit still and watch a movie without knitting or studying my French, or cleaning, or cooking, or all of the above. The weird thing is, it's hard for me to concentrate if I have to just sit still and watch a movie. I need action and excitement. It helps me to think. Otherwise I just daydream. And then I feel like I haven't gotten anything done...and so the cycle continues. My husband thinks I multi-task too much. It freaks him out because he can't do anything with anything else going on.

So I talked to my dh about the med school thing. He now agrees that I shouldn't do nursing. He says that once I transfer schools, I am not allowed to change my major. What I start that first semester with is what I am doing. It is nice to have someone direct me, even though it was a bit bitter. ;)

I have just never had someone around to really help me out with my future and encourage me to be something. So now he is behind me. Finally!!!

So that means that we are getting down to the wire in going to med school. I can get done in 1 1/2 years at the school that I am most likely going to transfer to. So that will leave about 6-12 months of working or something in between going to med school and finishing my BS. I think that I am going to try and take ORganic Chem and Physics this summer and take the MCAT as soon as it's available. But then, will I still have to wait the year to apply? Will it be too late for me to apply to med school for Fall 2007? I am so confused about all of this!!!

I need to buy MCAT materials!!! I was just looking at the MCAT site where they have the scores laid out for averages, etc. 0.1 percent of people got a 6!! I hope that does not end up being me! I can see me freaking out ang getting the all time low score... :no:

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13 years 10 months ago #70205 by dnw826
Crap. I just wrote this long schpeel and Netscape shut down on me. That really ticks me off when that happens.

Now I am too PO'd to write anything more for right now. Maybe later...

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13 years 10 months ago #70206 by dnw826
I hate math. Okay, that is an understatement. I can do math if I get motivated. But I HATE it. When I was younger, my cousin (who is getting his PhD at an Ivy school in Math) the genius would always try to get me interested and sit me down for hours and ramble insanely about it. BORING. It made me want to jump out the window. Then in junior high, Satan was my teacher. And high school wasn't much better. My chemistry teacher (I only took one semester of chem in high school for this reason) was Satan's lover. She was the most horrible person that I have ever met EVER. She was actually a school secretary who had to teach the class because they were short a teacher (gotta love school funding) and couldn't find anyone else. Even the straight A "perfect kids" in class were failing. She did nothing but confuse and demean us. She was EVIL. Pure and utter evil. I only passed the class with the solemn promise she made me swear to that I would never take her class again. She didn't like me, see, because she knew I hated her and I wasn't as "smart as my cousin she has heard of". She is the reason that I hate chemistry and everytime I have to do chem I get this horrible swelling up of anger.

My first college chem class was taught by a teacher who very well could have been her twin. Then I finally got a good Gen Chem teacher (About time!!!) and now dh is my teacher. I am actually learning now. I still hate it, but at least I have been getting good grades and semi-understand it.

I am in trigonometry online right now through my college. Which means that I, the antithesis of math lovers has to teach myself what I consider meaningless blibber blabber. I can't wait to take calculus. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. :rolleyes:

I don't want to offend any math lovers out there, I just don't understand. And don't try to explain it, please. My cousin does that every time I talk to him and really, all it does is make me want to die inside. :boggled:

So off my anger kick now...

I can't wait to move! I can't say it enough times. But this town gives me the same happy feelings as doing trig. I just can't wait for a town with more food choices, close to the ocean (at least somewhat) with maybe some diversity and a REAL school! I am so excited to get back into "real" classes. THe community college I am at right now feels like high school all over again. It could be because the kids are much younger than me and completely immature and the administration treats you like you can't yet read, let alone walk to the potty alone.

I am still thinking about the USUHS or the HPSP programs. I was kinda worried for awhile about the 6 weeks of basic or the 30-45 days a year you have to spend in the military, but my kids have been driving me nuts, so I can't wait! I have never had a break. I raised my brothers since before I was even old enough to "stay home alone", I had kids young, and I have always been doing everything for everyone else. So I would just die to get away for awhile. Not that this feeling won't change by the time it comes up 2 years from now or whenever.

Even going to school all day will be a much deserved break for me. I have been "home" with my kids and taking mostly online classes for 2 years now. Let me tell you, I am NOT a stay at home mom type. I have to get out. Not to the bar or wherever, I just feel so incredibly unappreciated. I get no help and I just need some adult interaction. I was doing homeschooling, but I gave up awhile back because I just am so unmotivated. Plus my dd (5), the total mommy pleaser, started feeling pressured, and I wanted to give her some space.

Gotta go. I have to pick up dd from dance!

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