× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

surviving my miscarriage

More
14 years 3 weeks ago #70338 by drvicky
I had to tell a patient in her early 40's today that she has stage 3 possibly 4 breast cancer. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. She said she wasn't surprised. She had a feeling something was wrong. Then she did something I didn't expect. She knew about my miscarriage and asked me how I was doing? I just told her she might die and she was concerned about me. It brought me to tears. We had a good cry together and we both made a promise to try and look to the future and not look back at "i should have or could have". sometimes patients can surprise you.
I want to thank all of you reading this diary who have sent me wonderful and supportive emails. I can't thank you enough. It means so much to me.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 years 3 weeks ago #70339 by drvicky
The gym is my sanctuary. (and my IPOD too) They are the two things beside my husband that are getting me through. I am anxious to talk to the bereavement counselor on wed. I just think I need some help with dealing with my patients and trying once again to have sympathy for their problems. Right now all I can think about is me. I know that sounds selfish, but I am being honest. My mind always seems to drift back to my pregnancy, whether it was a girl or boy and of course why?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 years 3 weeks ago #70340 by drvicky
:confused: Today has been a good day and I feel guilty. It has only been a little over a week and I laughed for the first time today. I feel like i am betraying my baby. I know it sounds dumb, but how can I laugh and be happy when my baby is gone?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 years 3 weeks ago #70341 by drvicky
Worst things said to me since the miscarriage:
1) well you got to 8 weeks, maybe next time you'll get to 16 weeks?( What the heck ?)
2) You weren't really pregnant.( I wasn't ? tell that to my beta's.)
3) I never had a problem, once I was pregnant it always stuck.( I know your children and I am not sure that is a good thing)
4) Did you do something to make it happen? ( I don't need guilt, I already have enough of my own)
5) My friend , with the same due date," I am so sad for myself, I won't have anyone to share my pregnancy with.( I might be a tad more disappointed seeing as how I lost my baby and you still have yours)
6) My husband said on the night of my d/c" well since you lost the baby you can start scooping the cats poop again.( Yes I yelled a little that night and he scooped the poop)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 years 2 weeks ago #70342 by drvicky
My three best friends are all pregnant. One is due this month , one in june and one on what was to be my due date. I just can't bring myself to be around them. It hurts so much. My one friend has her new u/s pics up on her website and honestly I looked at those pictures and all I felt was jealousy. I know I am a terrible person, but I am being honest.They all got pregnant without a problem. I just don;t understand why it has to be so hard for us. I hope this feeling passes but for now I am avoiding them like the plague.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 years 2 weeks ago #70343 by drvicky
My patient that I talked about in a previous post with breast cancer just sent me a cheer up card. The true goodness of people amazes me. she is facing surgery tom. and chemo and heavens knows what else and she thought of me. What a lady.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: TexasRoseefex101
Time to create page: 0.219 seconds
Find us on Facebook!
Find us on Twitter!
Find us on Pinterest!