× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

I have seen the light

13 years 8 months ago #70545 by kac2001
Guess what? It shines down on so many other women who are struggling through some very similar situations or issues! That definitely helps me feel less depressed and less accomplished.

I am 31 y.o., mother of 1, and married. There has been this overwhelming feeling of "supposed to" that has coursed through my veins since I can remember. -I was supposed to graduate top of my class in HS
-I was supposed to get a scholarship
-I was supposed to finish college in 4 yrs or less
-I was supposed to marry this perfect guy that I met in college
-I was supposed to be (happily) married and having 3 children by the time I was in my 30s

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, none of that applies to me. I changed my major in college (french to biology), so I ended up taking over 5 yrs to finish college. I also joined the military reserves, which took one semester away. So, I work as a lab tech basically, but my official title is a research assistant. I know that the lab life is no longer where I want to be. Oh, oh, oh, the "smart" people have science degrees and work in cool, sexy lab jobs. Or something. :confused:

Medical school has been there, gone away, popped back up, got squished under the sheets, then reared its regal head again. With my toddler, and those 25 tons of heaped guilt, there is no realistic way that I could go to medical school AT LEAST till junior high school.

So, presently, I have decided to change majors (for a 2nd bachelor's) to English. Chemistry is my current major, but I hate analytical chemistry like Dracula hates sunshine. Get it away - my skin will peel, my eyes will bulge :tired: , and then I will >poof< away in a cloud of ashy smoke! Anyway, I want to become more creative; writing and writing and writing some more. That's what I want to try.

Right now, the biggest thing I did was dye my hair. Wow. Yah, considering that big, thick, stiff, HORRENDOUS gray hair I discovered last week, dying seemed the thing to do! What's weird is that I would have NEVER found this gray hair, except that I had some cysts removed from my scalp, so I'm combing my hair differently, and the part is moved. So, BINGO BANGO, thar she blows! And let me tell you - it blows!

Now, I must retire. Take care and I shall post again in the near future, because, well, dammit, it feels good to rant and vent and feel sorry for myself :rotfl:

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