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My Heart's Desire

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11 years 3 months ago #70843 by doctorjoy
Well today is 8/8/08 and it is about to be 8:08 where I am. the number eight is also considered favorable in Chinese culture. The Chinese pronunciation for "eight" (ba in Mandarin and paat in Cantonese) sounds similar to the word for "prosperity" (fa in Mandarin and faat in Cantonese). According to lore, the more eights that show up in daily life, the more luck and wealth a person is to have. I really don't have much on mind, just watching the Olympic opening ceremony. So much rich history. For all that goes into doing an opening ceremony for the olympics it is amazing.
New beginnings..well this is a season of new beginnings for many people. Another class of medical students coming to school all over the country, bright eyed and woozy with all the excitement and not realizing that reality will set in soon. But that euphoria of actually setting foot on your medical school campus for the first time. i still remember that day. My next euphoric time will be graduation day :wave:

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11 years 2 months ago #70844 by doctorjoy
ok my test is 8 days away and right now, my brain is unable to focus. I do have some things to deal with, but not trying to worry about them. My car needs new rotors and calipers, need to find a few more dollars for living expenses for the school year. Well the school year started yesterday and looking over the information on the schedule, there is no difference in the info. So my plan is to take an hour after I work out to glaze over the information. this is so frustration, because I want to study but my mind is not taking anything in at the moment. ok well I am going to find a way to get my brain on track, maybe a nap, maybe going somewhere away from my study area.....

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11 years 2 months ago #70845 by doctorjoy
So in the pit of my stomach today, I felt it... 7 days to go until i take my USMLE. :eek: :wave:

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11 years 2 months ago #70846 by doctorjoy
well tomorrow is the day. I am trying my best not to let the nervousness get to me. I have been cool most of the day but around 5pm, it started to hit me. I went and exercise to see if that would help, but since I came back to the house, the study material is just looking at me saying is there more to look at. My mind feels full and not sure how it will come out or if it will at all. I can only do so much. God has to take me the rest of the way. I am going to look at the Cardio for about an hour and then call it a night, for a good rest. I hope that I can sleep and not wake up every hour on the hour. I can't wait until 6 pm tomorrow...

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11 years 2 months ago #70847 by doctorjoy
I am kind of having a bad day today. It was my first real day back at repeating the 2nd year and I feel so left out. You would think it would b easy to fit in but it is not. I once again feel like the outsider and need to make friends again. I don't know. Right now in my mind I am not here for anyone, just for me to get out and move on. It is going to be a long year.

I will write about my USMLE experience a little later....

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11 years 2 months ago #70848 by doctorjoy
SO much has happened..... I took my USMLE :eek: now I am just playing the waiting game for the score. Overall from the type of prep that I did right now I feel that passing would suit me just fine. Yes I had a goal of 233, but I just really want to pass. The test was not that bad it is just when I got to the last 1 and half blocks the fatigue got to me. I felt antsy and was trying my best to concentrate. The morning part (before lunch) I was good to go. even after lunch but as the day became later, I wanted to just run out and be done. To me that what gets to you. You have done all this preparation and you start the test and as the end draws near, you are just ready to be done and your brain is ready for you to be done. I know I have more boards to take but this felt like it took a lot of energy and sacrifice. Plus I had the added on heap of trying to prove a point. but I pray that all has gone well for me on this test. Once i receive a score, I think I can give a better assessment of the whole experience.

Well school is full swing, granted I missed a week and half and had to play the catch-up game. The first test just past and I am not sure how I did. TO be honest I am not worried about it, because there are more to come for this term, but if I get a 50, not sure what that will measure out to. I really am trying to overcome the fact that I am here again for another 9 months of torture, but it may work out for my good. Now money wise it is a whole other situation which I have left in the hands of God to work out. I really should just put everything there and just keep at the hem of His garment..

I think right now I can breathe for a little bit because I really did not have time between the USMLE and the first test for school. The only thing I still need is that massage.

Well I think that is all I have for now. :wave:

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