× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

Am I going to go crazy?

13 years 5 months ago #70876 by twinmomdoc
I became a mom on the 9th of March,2006.Krishna gave me and husband, a beautiful girl,Vishnupriya and a beautiful boy,Mahavishnu.

And before I knew it, all those frustations and painful memories of 9 years of being childless vanished.

My husband, Raj holds the babies close to him and weep tears of joy.It has been tough on him, to see his parents and relatives giving up hope on him, in terms of ever being a father.

Thanksfully, we never gave up hope.There were tough times though.Once Raj broke down at the parking lot of Savon Pharmacy, after seeing a family with 5 or 6 unkept kids, the father was smoking and yelling.Raj kept crying softly in my lap, in our car, moaning, "Krishna everyone has kids, why cant we have just one."I think Krishna heard us that day.

Raj wanted 2 girls, he had named them Vishnupriya and Durgadevi.Since we did not want to know the sex of the baby, we also had names ready for the other combinations.Thank God we did, because when Mahavishnu came out, a teary Raj informed the nurse matter-of-factly-"Oh, thats Mahavishnu."

We started Medschool on the 7th of August,2006.Oh what a day!!

I could not focus in class,all I would see is Vishnupriya and Mahavishnu!!Raj was his usual self, or so I thought.Only later, in the evening would he reveal that he had called the babby sitter thrice, once almost pissing her off!!

We live in San Diego.But we go to school in Tijuana,Mexico.We spend the same hours in commute, as people who work in the suburbs of all big cities do.

Our day starts at 3 am, when Vishnupriya, invariably wakes up, and cries this sweet cry-"Nnneeyaaaaaaa".
After feeding her,and placing her back in the crib,I lie down again.By 4am Mahavishnu wakes up, and Raj runs his usual concerned run mouthing-"Olay Olay Olay Baba,I am right here Baby".

Before we know, at 5.50am, armed with 2 sacks of Med books, a big bag of baby supplies, a bag with the formula milk in atight ceramic bottle ,all ready to pour, for Christina, our baby sitter, we drive out of our low rent apartment complex.We will be reaching her upperclass neighbourhood in 4 minutes.As Raj starts the car,he always checks-"Bubla,is everything locked?"And I answer-"Yes Bublai".
Years ago, when Raj has proposed to me on the Campus of Benaras Hindu University,Benaras, he had said, Debarati(my name),I want to be one with you,one life,one name, one goal.While he halting and sincerely explained to me, that by One he meant , he wanted to be identified by me.Since then I call him Bublai, a spinoff of my pet name Bublee.Raj calls me Bubla.

By 6.05am we are driving down the 5 South to Mexico, now and then dotted with a few cars making their way from San Diego to Tijuana.The traffic from Tijuana to San Diego is beyond description.Its called the world's busiest international border.

We reach our school near Kaye Insurgentes by 6.40am.Classes start at 7am.

I will catch up with all of you again,I have to go now as Mahavishnu seems to be woken up.Its 7.03 pm, on the 3rd of September,2006.
May Krishna bless all of you.

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13 years 5 months ago #70877 by twinmomdoc
Its 7.37am on the 4th of September,2006.Its Labour Day in USA, Mexico does not, which means we have school today.But since Mahavishnu has been coughing through the night, we will be going to San Diego Children's hospital.There goes school for the day, but we have no choice.We will have to manage the 'attendance issue' with a couple of proffessors.One of them is known as the 'Bean', a good teacher, who just could not find the compatible behaviour to accompany his knowledge base.He is teaching us Histo,Embryo and Anato.Well he thinks that the bone is primarily divided into Epiphysis and Diaphysis, and since we also pointed out Metaphysis, on a class test, he gave us zero points on that question.That prompted Raj to promptly rename him 'Saalaa Chor'.As a dignified Hindu woman, I cant say what it means.

So back to our trip to San Diego Children's hospital today.Raj swear's that on Labour Day people go on drinking binges, so wants to drive out for the hospital after 10am, as if it will help, if a drunk driver comes along.

Today is the day we will be catching up on Embryo(We are reading from Langman-Sadlar and More-Persaud),Histo(BRS,Junquiro,Kaplan),Anatomy(Adams,Moore,Kaplan),Physio(Guyt on) and Patho(Kaplan,Kumar).

What is really worrying me is Mahavishnu's cough.I heard a distinct 'coughy' noise with the stethoscope.
Will be getting off the computer now,Raj wants to use it for the mapquest directions for the SD Children's hopital.

Take care,

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13 years 4 months ago #70878 by twinmomdoc
24th of September,2006
My last post was on the 5th of this month.Mahavishnu, my son was admitted to the San Diego Children's Hospital on the 7th , with Bacterial pneomonia and suspected Illius.He stayed there till the 11th.The Illeus resolved on its own.We are still recovering.

The school made a issue of the attendance, our Director, a failed doctor turned educationist, flexed his executive power, gave us a sermon on the benefits of attending school, even though he knew my son was ADMITTED to the ICU.

But what I cannot forget is Mahavishnu's constant pain.I shudder, when I recall his face, with Oxygen pipes up his nostrils,his pleading eyes, IV stuck into his hand and a occasional indifferent nurse, asking in Spanish-English, why my son would not stop moaning.Raj wanted to tell her to shut up and get the hell out of there, but I stopped him.We had to be cool,as cool as was possible.Two hopelessly lonely Indians with twin babies,in a land far away, at complete mercy of Nurses, who came from Mexico,perhaps illegally, into USA, with neither the civilisation, neither the culture, nor the education to be counted as human nurses.Raj said some German word,Untermenshen, sub human in English.Thats what he felt the Mexican nurses to be.The only paradox, they were in the US!!

By the way, our insurance from Ist Healthcare was awesome, it covered everthing.Its 30% less pricy than Blue Shield.

By the way, San Diego is the gateway for millions of Latinas,a majority being Mexicans, who just drive into the US, via either San Ysidro or the Otay Mesa check points.Ofcourse, a majority of them without visas.Its pretty easy actually.The border agents just ask for drivers license or birth certificates,I am sure, both are easily available in the Californian counterfeit market.Makes us wonder why we went through the rigours of legally entering the US?Also , why would the government allow immigration of populations who do have the same values as the rest of the country?I mean honesty,politeness, work ethics, shouls mean something, should it not?
The joke in Mexico is, after 20 years, the Latinas would own the US, and no one would need any visas to go to the US!!I dont think it is a joke!I think this is what will happen!!A country lost, because its citizens did not want to work, and they imported illegal, cheap labor.Illegal cheap labor which ultimately merged Mexico into US or was it US into Mexico?

Well to change the topic,we had our Histology,Embryology,Anatomy,Pharmacology,Physiol-ogy, and Biochemistry exams.We passed all.I had perfect scores in Biochem and Physio.And I couldn't study as I was at the hospital taking care of a 6 months old sweet boy, who was being savaged by bacteria and Untermenchens!Yeah, I am angry,so let me say it again, untermenshens!!And thats an exact description.

The other thing that bugs me in Mexico, is the absense any feminine grace.At the university, female medical students are so graceless, that I cannot begin to express.They almost mimic farm hands.

I had a long talk with Raj, that maybe the choice of TJ,Mexico was a wrong choice to study.He agreed, but he feels we have to stay put.I feel the same.

Few years back, Israeli Centre-Left parties had a slogan in their election campaign, it simply read-STUCK<STUCK<STUCK-thats precisely what we are,STUCK.
Tomorrow,is Monday, another weekly grind commences, will we survive?Only Krishna knows.
Haribol and God Bless!

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