what a long time it has been since I felt inspired to write. All kinds of things are shifting for me now (when do they stop shifting in residency?). My husband's grandmother died week before last. I was lucky enough to be on a rotation where I was able to take some time and go with him to attend the funeral and commune with his family. Then last week, I attended the American Holistic Medical Association conference in Albuquerque, NM...from family to home to New Mexico and lots of new ideas and approaches. I was forced to face how negative I have become this year...how ready I am to decide that the universe/God/etc. is against me. Then back home and we get a call that one of my hubbie's best friends from high school had chosen to take his life. The recent two deaths have cracked through the cool I have adapted at times to deal with sadness in the hospital...and tears come easier. K. (husband) will have to go back to FL on his own for this funeral as I am back again on "Eternal Medicine" rotation. I will really miss him...miss being with him and feeling brought together by adversity.
I am trying to change my viewpoint so that I find the wisdom or pearl I can glean from bad...and good situations....rather than lament "why me?" It appears to be a lifelong choosing every day to see life this way. Wish me well!
Just read all of your posts. Your "diary excerpts" have been so amazing, I feel like I can read them all day, like I am in trance reading a great book. I wanted to say that I hope you stuck out being a doctor. I find it amazing that even after 14 years, I can still read your blog! I came across your posts because I am a licensed K-9 teacher and have been thinking about becoming a medical doctor. I don't know yet, but I was curious to see what others "out there" have said; either they have done it or are thinking of doing it. I am 25 years old now, and I realize that if I follow the "12 year" path to becoming a doctor, I would be around the age you wrote this blog. I know that it was hard when you started, but I am wondering and wanting to know how you feel about it now. I feel like your posts were a book that ended with a cliff hanger for me, and I must know what the ending was! ;D
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this, and I hope all is well in your day and in your current life,