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Husband and wife with 2 kids starting med school

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9 years 2 months ago #77130 by future MD mom
Hi. I wanted know if there is anyone out there who either is/was in a similar situation or knows someone in it. My husband and I are both starting med school this January in a foreign country. We have a 7 year old and a 22 month old.
We had a certain lifestyle. We showered our kids with toys and flew first class and had a lot of vacations. While in school, we will not be able to buy toys at all. I am scared of the impact of not having these things will put on my 7 year old. I dont know if kids grow up to regret their parents decision to go to med school and not nurture them the way they deserve. I know I wont have enough time to spend with them either.

Is there anyone who regrets making the decision to go to med school?

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9 years 2 months ago #77133 by TracyK
Hi there

I can't speak for med school but both my husband and I did our MBA with two kids under 3 and full time, hectic jobs (which included travel).

Honestly, it was all a bit of a blur :) but my kids are just fine. Be as honest with your children as you can - they understand a lot more than you think. When you have even a little time, make it count and give your undivided attention to them. They'll appreciate that more than you trying to juggle the books and the conversation.

It can certainly be done. Best of luck!

T.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't. You're right." - Henry Ford

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9 years 2 months ago #77175 by kpzr/9145
I would worry more about not being with them than not giving them a lot of toys. Honestly, the first two years will probably be ok. The third year will be very hard, especially if you are both doing third year at the same time. Not sure if your program will be like the US programs, though. Residency will probably be harder still. Good luck! I hope you will have family near where you are moving to help. If not, I would start working on establishing a strong support system.

kpzr

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9 years 2 months ago #77230 by happymum
I agree with you 110%!!!! Thanks for sharing that, because they are some of the same moral dilemmas that I was facing while contemplating if I should follow through with all of this.

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9 years 2 months ago #77231 by SW to MD
I do not regret it, not one bit.

I actually believe my children have been learning valuable lessons, especially related to money. The student family housing we live in borders an extremely privileged area in town. Literally, there are homes worth several million dollars down the street. Which brings up conversations all the time about the material things- a couple of students in my son's SECOND GRADE class have iPhones.

As far as time, true, you may have less. But it is about quality of time versus quantity. Your children will remember the things you do with them, not the time. Helping them with homework, playing family games. We have a family movie night where we do a quick pick-up, then curl up on the couch and watch a movie with popcorn. Sometimes that is a Saturday, sometimes (like this week) it will be a Wednesday. But we do it consistently, and it costs either $0 because they choose something we already have, or $2 rental at the local video store.

If you really want to do this (I am not saying this in a negative light, simply that it is a decision you and your family will make), then it is all about how you frame things for your children. Will they jump up and down happily about their life changing? Probably not. But will they suffer emotionally? I don't think so.

Good luck!

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy - MLKJ

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9 years 2 months ago #77232 by kpzr/9145
I second what SW says above. It is time with their parents that kids crave, not material things. Carve out time to spend with them doing something together (regardless of whether you work/attend medical school or not) and they will be happy.

kpzr

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