I am going crazy trying to time it right for a girl while breastfeeding. Last cycle we were off and timed it for a boy accidentally and we still didn't conceive. This time, do I give myself 48 hours (which would require waking up at ungodly hour or be OK with 50 hours? We conceived immediately last two times, and we are at cycle 4. I am going nuts!
My baby climbed onto my lap and demanded I feed him oatmeal wrapped in fresh lettuce. Then he wanted to nurse. I was congratulating myself on being the world's greatest mother and continuing to enjoy my fresh lettuce and sesame leaf wraps when he pooped on my lap. In his underwear.
My basal body temperature dropped. I guess I am not preggo. I was so sure. Well, this trying for a girl is really not working. I really need to ask if I want a third child or only a daughter. I even timed us to 24 hours before ovulation (they recommend 48 hours). Anyone else have difficulty getting pregnant trying for a girl?
I have had the worst weekend call in a long time, had to work a pretty much a full day today, and my toddler won't fall asleep when we really need to have sex. Even my husband was wishing we wouldn't have to today. What happened that sex became a chore? Why am I still not pregnant?!
The other day, the implant that the surgeon was yanking out finally came loose, flew out, and hit me square on my forehead. And gave me a concussion. I had amnesia, headache, nausea, the whole bit. Truly, y'all, this happened. And no, I wasn't starring in Grey's Anatomy.
So after watching a Ted video about happiness and vulnerability, I have decided to reach out to try to make more friends. My circle of close friends are shrinking, and I need more friends. I have already made plans for a ladies night out with my climbing friends, a play date with moms I wouldn't normally try to get together, and have extended an invitation to be closer friends with a mom friend. And I am realizing that it is not painful at all to make myself vulnerable. Chance of rejection is nothing compared to the increasing isolation I have been feeling lately. And yes, I am worthy of being loved. I have always believed that. Have known that in my heart. Which has been the reason why I have always have had such an easy time making friends. But at some point I started to forget that I deserve love and started fearing rejection. No more! I need adult female friends to be happy. To be fully present for my kids. And I am on a path to get there. And in the mean time, I am enjoying the journey!