× Women in Medicine Blogs & Diaries

Not that I want to start my first entry this way..

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5 years 11 months ago #91284 by clee03m
I am 7 weeks pregnant and I am spotting. I am terrified I am miscarrying. I want an ultrasound. A heart beat. Reassuring blood levels. I must tame the beast and stay home. Trying to relax in bed.

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5 years 11 months ago #91292 by clee03m
I'm starting to see little clots and have some cramping. It took us 7 months to get pregnant with this baby. I know 25% of pregnancies end up in a miscarriage. I didn't know how scary that statistic was until now. I lay here powerless to protect my baby.

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5 years 11 months ago #91305 by clee03m
Miscarriage was confirmed with ultrasound. There is not even a sac left. Blood level is low enough where my doc isn't super concerned about ectopic though I am not out of the water yet. My doctor told us to wait to try, but wasn't there a study with like 50000 women that showed it is good to get preggo in the first 6 months after? We are trying ASAP. I cried a bit, but I feel OK. I think waiting was way harder. Totally feeling helpless to help your baby, pretty aweful. At least now I know it is done. Thanks ladies who PM'ed me.

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5 years 11 months ago #91335 by clee03m
I guess I am not as OK as I thought. My three year old ripped the picture off a magnet today, and I was so angry. I was first angry that the next baby will never see that this was a yellow banana which is a part of a color magnet book. Then I realized this baby will not see any magnets at all. This baby will never see anything. Baby never even had a chance to develop his eyes. The unfairness of it all. I have been crying everywhere. I thought I was ok because I felt so much relief at not having to endure further uncertainty, but I am having a hard time after all.

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5 years 11 months ago #91340 by lydiasmommy
I am so sorry Clee. I had a miscarriage before the birth of my daughter and it was very difficult for longer than I expected it to be. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grief your loss.

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5 years 10 months ago #91367 by clee03m
I had to call anesthesia in charge to run to my room because I suddenly needed to have very lose stool. I know I am only human, but I pride myself on having bladder and bowel of steel, and for some reason I find this very embarrassing. What? Of course I am typing this while having diarrhea. Hey, no one said my blog was for the faint of heart.

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