Last night Thomas excited declared, "I am a dick!" I was a bit taken back. "A what?" "A dick. I am going to suck your blood and rub diseases all over you." "Oh, you are a tick." "Yes, I am a dick, I am a dick, you better watch out mommy."
I am preggers again!!! Yup first cycle. Very excited. I know, I know, my OB told me to wait. Ooops! And I went to a mom's night out (yes, these miraculous things happen when you work part time), and according to some voodoo thingies I am having a girl. Verified by two different voodoo methods. Very excited!!
I have decided this year that I wanted the kids to make gifts for the season for extended family. I have settled on hand print ornaments and 2013 calender on kids' art work. So today I dragged the kids to stores looking for supplies during the few hours I had with them. Tonight on call, I am printing out calenders. Tomorrow post call, I am going to try to fit in making all of the stuff in time to send it out before the post office closes. That would mean the ornaments have to dry by 5. Complicated by my older son's preschool in the morning. I am feeling a little discouraged. Maybe this stuff is for someone who works less hours than me. Maybe the gifts will just be a little late. Hell, we are atheists. Why do I care if my gifts arrive in time for Christmas? But I do. Wait. Add finish making our Christmas cards tomorrow to make sure we get them in time to send it out. Kind of think we are behind on the eight ball on that one. Maybe we should make them New Years card. Sigh.
I was driving to a play date where I was supposed to pay another mom for a woven wrap. I realized about 15 min into the drive that I forgot my wallet. I cried out without thinking, "Oh, shit!" And without missing a beat, my three year old son asked, "What did you forget?" Must clean up my potty mouth.
Sometimes, I find it incredibly difficult to not hit my kids. I find that so disturbing because I am a pacifist. I do not condone violence for any reason. Tonight my 3 year old hit my head really hard with a plastic bucket because he was frustrated. Ever since my concussion, my head is very sensitive, and as I was crying holding my head, he kept throwing more things at me. Then as I finally felt well enough to put my head up, my 1 year old decides to hit my head with the same bucket. I had such blind white rage to beat them both. Hurt them to teach them to never hurt me again. Knowing that I have the physical and probably psychological advantage to carry this out. I didn't hit them. But it took every fiber of my self control not to hit them. I find this anger and rage such a disturbing part of parenting, a disturbing part of who I am.
My husband detests my nights out. So I decided to get the kids all tucked away. They are happily sitting at the dinner table eating when I exit the room to grab my bag, and by the time I come back, my husband is screaming, and my one year old is actually running on top of the dining room table. It seems that the situation with the kiddos desolve into chaos the minute my husband takes over. Why?