Hi you all! I am 35w prego and just finished residency. As happy and excited as I am, lately I've been overcome with a tremendous amount of anxiety. You see a couple of weeks ago, I was placed on bed rest for a complication in my pregnancy. Up to this point, my pregnancy had gone smoothly; even while working 24 hour shifts every 4th night at times. But after this complication I've mostly been overcome with guilt and maybe some depression?
These feelings come from me feeling like had I not been working so hard as a resident I would have likely taken better care of myself and not suffered such a complication. Also, in the beginning of my pregnancy I was so overcome with emotion and also probably some pregnancy brain I declined the nt scan and blood work for genetic screening. Now I feel as though I robbed my baby of the best care he could have gotten. I also feel anxious about surprises and things going wrong during the delivery. Most of all I feel like a fool because as an MD I should have had a better handle on things and should have navigated this pregnancy much smarter.
I'm writing about this because when I've tried to bring it up with family I've kind of been dismissed as overly anxious. But, I just can't help it! Hopefully writing for the remainder of my pregnancy will help me feel a little better.
Ahhh so sorry about the bedrest. I was pregnant as well and doing crazy call schedule as a CRNA so i know the feeling. Just had my second baby whilst still working at a grueling surgery center under xray and cement for joints. I am still a CRNA and retaking MCAT so hopefully will be going to med school in 2017.
Stress is stress however & of course it doesnt help but my baby was healthy aside from an induction due to oligo. Oh and if this is your first baby, if you havent envisioned your baby looking like a monster or having a face like a bird or something weird like that THAN your having a weird pregnancy. We all have been awakened at night by weird dreams or thought out baby to be half creature. Its just the nature of the beast- namely, being a mom. Welcome to the worry club!! Unless your doc specifically gave you cause for worry then I would try to put those stress hormones to rest.
Hope this helps and good luck