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Is it doable ? Or am I kidding myself?

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2 years 7 months ago #95816 by Undecided
:huh:
I am a 33 year old female and my husband is in his 2nd year of medical school. I am working full time and supporting him and myself. We would like to start having kids like yesterday, but I am concerned. I have dreams of going back to school to become a physician. I am an RN and have a bachelors in the arts. I would need to go back to school to complete my pre med pre requisites and take the MCAT. I am concerned because if we decide to start a family now ...will I have to sacrifice my goals??? Is it possible for us to do this ? Can I complete all these goals while still starting a family? Also if I happen to magically be able to complete the pre reqs and mcat, while starting a new family. Will having a young family, husband in residency and myself entering medical school be feasible? I am no spring chicken so I want to really take the best path. I'm hoping to receive advice from other women in medicine of the path to take. I am passionate about medicine and became a RN based on bad advice. I am miserable & I would like to pursue my dreams of becoming a physician but I am concerned I may not be able to Pull it off with all of the other moving pieces in my life......Please HELP !


Thanks

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2 years 7 months ago #95824 by sahmd
Well, that's a lot to take on at one time. :) There are obviously a lot of unknowns here because you have not started your family yet, your husband is just starting his medical career, and you have not started pre-med classes yet. But based on the general scenario, I can make a couple of comments. One is that both residency and medical school are very competitive. I assume that you would not want your husband in residency in one state and you in medical school in a different state, especially if you have young children. Would it make sense to time things so that you go to medical school at around the time he is finishing his training? Then he could look for a job where you are accepted to medical school. That would avoid the separation, plus it would give you better chances of acceptance than if you only applied to schools where he was doing his residency or where he had already gotten a job.

The other comment is that motherhood is complex. You will not know how you really feel about motherhood until you are a mother, and you also do not know how much help you will get from your husband (although I am predicting that he will not have a lot of free time). I assume that you will not want to put off having children for too long because of fertility reasons, plus you both want it now. You will need help with childcare if you want to do well in your pre-reqs and testing, not to mention during your education and training. Do you have family who can help out? In any case, you may find that your priorities change after you have kids, so that may put things in a different perspective.

I know this is not the same thing, but have you considered building on the degree you already have to get an advanced nursing degree? You would be able to have more autonomy and it would take way less time (and money?) than becoming a physician.

I think you could probably make it all work, but it will take good planning, hard work, and a lot of support from others, including your husband. If he is not on board with your becoming a physician, it will really be an uphill battle. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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2 years 6 months ago - 2 years 6 months ago #95835 by Undecided

sahmd wrote: Well, that's a lot to take on at one time. :) There are obviously a lot of unknowns here because you have not started your family yet, your husband is just starting his medical career, and you have not started pre-med classes yet. But based on the general scenario, I can make a couple of comments. One is that both residency and medical school are very competitive. I assume that you would not want your husband in residency in one state and you in medical school in a different state, especially if you have young children. Would it make sense to time things so that you go to medical school at around the time he is finishing his training? Then he could look for a job where you are accepted to medical school. That would avoid the separation, plus it would give you better chances of acceptance than if you only applied to schools where he was doing his residency or where he had already gotten a job.

The other comment is that motherhood is complex. You will not know how you really feel about motherhood until you are a mother, and you also do not know how much help you will get from your husband (although I am predicting that he will not have a lot of free time). I assume that you will not want to put off having children for too long because of fertility reasons, plus you both want it now. You will need help with childcare if you want to do well in your pre-reqs and testing, not to mention during your education and training. Do you have family who can help out? In any case, you may find that your priorities change after you have kids, so that may put things in a different perspective.

I know this is not the same thing, but have you considered building on the degree you already have to get an advanced nursing degree? You would be able to have more autonomy and it would take way less time (and money?) than becoming a physician.

I think you could probably make it all work, but it will take good planning, hard work, and a lot of support from others, including your husband. If he is not on board with your becoming a physician, it will really be an uphill battle. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!



Hello Thanks for the detailed reply. My husband will be done with his medical school training in 2 years. I should be done with my pre-requisites in the next 1.5-2 years . I have registered to start the perquisites this Fall.

That being said, that will give me a 6 month window to sit for MCAT and apply for medical school at the same time he is applying for residency. I do not want to end up in different states,especially with children in the mix. This is something that will take luck or serious planning to figure out. So thats still in the brainstorming stage.

He is supportive of me furthering my education. We will have some help from our parents, but I kind of feel it would be wrong to burden them with childcare as they are very active in their early retirement with traveling, hobbies etc. I am thinking of the possibility of supplementing childcare with a nanny. I would be in my late 30's if I were to wait for him to finish his training to start med school. I would rather be at least done with med school by then, and starting residency.

Indeed motherhood, is complex and can change things. You are also right in the fact that fertility is a deciding factor in not wanting to wait much longer than now to start trying for children.

In reference to the Advanced Nursing Degree (No offense to anyone), even a Doctorate in Nursing Practice (DNP) is not medicine. Yes, its cheaper, and a shorter path, but I know that I would not be happy of I decide to take that route. The training & philosophy of nursing is not along the lines of what I would liKe to do. My lifelong dream is to be a physician. Interacting and working with the residents and physicians on my unit has solidified this dream/goal.

My husband is supportive. I know that he too has his plate full and have been able to see seen first hand through him the competitiveness of getting into medical school and excelling while in medical school. I know it won't be easy, especially when throwing kids into the loop. I want to believe it is possible. There is intermittent doubt at times. I do believe that anything work as long as the passion & desire is there. I have the passion, desire and determination. I pray that it is enough. I hope that destiny agrees.
Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by Undecided.

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2 years 5 months ago #95883 by nmartinoatc
I am a 26 year old (almost 27) student getting my Masters in Athletic Training. Next summer (2016) I will graduate with my Masters and be Certified Athletic Trainer. I got married 2 years ago and my husband is 31. We are wanting to start a family next year possibly. However, I have been dreaming of Medical school. I am a non-trad student who had a bad and low undergrad GPA so I decided to go into the Masters ATC program. My passion is sports medicine and Orthopedics. This summer I have been working as an intern with a orthopedic surgery group in the Texas Medical Center in Houston with world renowned orthos and have fallen even more in love with medicine. My only concern is continuing my education for another 8 years to become a doctor or should I just go to PA school. With my low undergrad GPA I have a 3.9 in my graduate program and have been working on prerequisites for med school during the process. Would it be worth it to go to med school or just do PA? Would that be considered settling? Also, would it be doable with having a baby before I start med school? My husband has a job and could work while I finish school. I just dont want to make the wrong decision for me family. Any input would be wonderful!!!

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2 years 5 months ago #95886 by sahmd

nmartinoatc wrote: Would it be worth it to go to med school or just do PA? Would that be considered settling?


The answers to both of those questions probably depend on who you ask. :) However, you are the only one whose opinion matters. Full medical education and training (including ortho residency and sports fellowship) is a way bigger sacrifice of time and money than PA school, and at the end you will have almost the same job. Many doctors now say that they would never recommend that anyone go to medical school for that reason. However, you will have way more knowledge and experience as a doctor, slightly more autonomy (but not full autonomy as some people imagine), and a slightly better salary. Only you can answer whether it is worth it.

nmartinoatc wrote: Also, would it be doable with having a baby before I start med school?


Sure, people have babies at every stage before, during, and after med school. I personally felt that medical school was a big adjustment. I worked really hard in college, but the amount of studying needed in medical school was way more than that. It was basically all my free time. So I would not want to start it at a time-intensive, sleep-deprived point in my baby's life, such as the newborn stage. But if the baby is a little older and you have a lot of help with childcare, you should be able to do it.

Good luck!

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4 months 3 days ago #140831 by lora

sahmd wrote:
I know this is not the same thing, but have you considered building on the degree you already have to get an advanced nursing degree? You would be able to have more autonomy and it would take way less time (and money?) than becoming a physician.


I think this is the best advice. I just moved to the US and I am a medical doctor in my country, taking the USMLE steps and going on the match as an international doctor is a big challenge, it would be safer to start a new career, but I decided to work in what I already have and I know I won't regret it, plus is way cheaper and relatively faster than starting all over. Also high degree nurses and MDs no longer have a huge salary gap between them in the US for what I've seen.

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